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South Canterbury Times, Issue 2489, 12 March 1881, Page 4

The Chairman of the committee on astronomy heaved a deep sigh and reported as follows ;—“ Dis committee am well awar’ of de fack dat a comet has recently bin diskivered about 60,000,000, miles on de road to heaben an’ dat it am now supposed to be approaching de y‘arh at a rapid rate, but de committee sees no speshuljoccashun to get excited. It will beja month or two so before be said comet can git here, an’ de chances am dat dearth will mash up at de fust bump. Dis committee advises de members of the club to git dar butes tapped, dar overcoat pached an'dar’ wood hauled up fur winter, an’ let de comet bizness take care of itself.” A Sufficient Reason.—“ Hole on dar!” said a coloured man. hailing an acquaintance. “Does yer cross de street ebery time yer sees meter keep frum payin’ dat bill ?” “ JSV I doesn’t.” “What fur, den’; “Ter keep frum bein’ axed for it.’’