Page 4 Advertisements Column 4

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2475, 23 February 1881, Page 4

The following is a verbatim et literatim extract from the letter of the secretary to a local school board in a country town to a firm in Sydney:—“l am desirous of Being informed whether you would supply me with four school desks, to Be Capable of holding 6 (six) children with iron legs and cedar tops, and what the freight would be to also the price of iron legs each if you would sell them separately, or without the wood.” The firm replied that they had no children of the kind described, and always sold whole those they had. The brig Clematis, from Hobart, laden with timber, struck a rock off the Long Look-out yesterday and became a total wreck. No lives were lost.

A Place for Everything.—Baby’s mouth. Polish Adventurers. Artie explorers. On the property of Prince Windischgratz, near Lienz, in the Tyrol, a vulture, measuring from the ends of its wings, 7£ feet has been caught in a trap. At " The Corner” we heard the following dialogue the other day: “ I say Jim, the Government are to be changed I hear.” “Oh, I should not be surprised,” was Jim’s reply ; but if you dropped the cit would be more than they deserved.’’ Are there any Blakes in this country ? Because there is £145,000 belonging to the heirs of Mrs Helen Blahe, of Kensington, going begging for the want of heirs. Lynch-law was never more prevalent in some of the States of America than now. The gaols are burst open and the culprits conducted to the nearest tree. Lillie had the toothache, and cried. Her mother tried to pacify her. “ I urn ashamed of you ; I wouldn’t be such a baby before everybody,”—“Oh yes, its all very well for you.” “Why?” “ Because if your teeth ache you can take them out.” A doctor attending a punster who was very ill gave as his reason for being late one day that he had been obliged to stop to attend to a man who had fallen down a very deep well, “ Did he kick—the—bucket—doctor ?” gasped the punster. A well-dressed young man entered a Madrid shop a few days ago, and, after walking uneasily about for a time, asked :—“ Have you any watches with indiarubber cases?” The astonished shopkeeper answered in the negative. The youth shambled up and down the floor a few times and again said, “You haven’t any rattle-boxes with diamond handles, I suppose?” “Ho, sir,” said the S.K. “ How young does a child begin to use a velocipede ?” asked the youth. “It depends a good deal on the kid,” was the answer ; “ some begin young, some don't.” “ Would you sell me a two-wheeled one and change it for ajhree-wheeled one if it’s a girl ?” “ Couldn’t do it,” came the curt response. The youth went out, and the shopkeeper reposes in one of the lowest dungeons of the castle. It was the King of Spain. —New York Evening Mail, Here is a recent musical criticism of a piano recital from a Maryland paper:— “ The professor dosed the music rack, and without notes made the handsome grand pianoforte fairly roar with music. The ‘ppV and the ‘ff’s’ were beautiful, and the crescendo was very noticeable. He gave a pleasing little encore.” A San Francisco paper asks : “ What’s the use—what on earth, we say, is the use of talking about art culture in San Francisco, when it is an open secret that a certain rich mining man recently sent to Florence for a copy of the Venus of Milo, and when the statue was delivered, actually sued the C. P. Company for mutilating a work of art, and, what is more, recovered large damages.” A Californian story tells of a man who resolved to give up drinking, and went to a notary to get him to draw up an affidavit to that effect. The document was drawn, read and proved ; the party held up his hand and murmured the the usual promise. The paper was then properly sealed and delivered. “What’s to pay ?” asked the pledge-taker. “To pay—to pay ?” exclaimed the notary. “Nothing of course —this is a labour of love.” “ Nothing to pay ?” returned the grateful but very forgetful pledgetaker. “ You’re a brick I Lets take a drink ?”