THE JOURNALIST’S WOOING.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2468, 15 February 1881, Page 4

THE JOURNALIST’S WOOING.

Milhridates Oppenheimer was the editor of a fashion weekly, lie loved but lie could not wed. Fashionable journalism is a great and noble thing ; but it does not pay. Oppenheinv r realised (hat his income, even including his commissions on the sale of paper patterns, would not enable him to support a wife, as wives wish to be supported nowadays. What was he to do ? He could not increase his income. He must reduce the expectations of his wife. For that purpose he would use the mighty engine referred to. The next day he wrote in the “ Fashion Notes” :—“ It is no longer bon ton for young gentleman of fashion to present engagement rings to their fiancees.’’ Then he went" to the house of Miss Anaslasia Pettingill, and offered himself. She accepted him. She looked as if she would have liked a diamond ring ; but she said nothing. Next week she read in her betrothed’s paper : “ Presents between fiancees are considered a very bad gout.” She sighed ; but said nothing. The next week the “ Fashion Weekl}' ’’said : “ When engaged persons enter an ice cream saloon, it is now h e fashion for the lady to pay for her own refreshments.” A week alter, this item appeared : •* Brides this year will dress very simply. Calico is the fashionable material.” And when the ensuing issue of the paper was laid before her, Anastasia Pettingill read with breaking heart this double barrelled shot : “ Flats are no longer the mode for young married couples. It is considered vulgarly ostentatious to have more than one room. For light employment for married ladies, art embroidery is now quite out of date, although in the way of toweling work line effects may be obtained on smooth wood ground—a floor for instance. Fancy sewing, especially in connection with buttons, is much affected.” This was too much. When Mithridates Oppenheimer went to seek his bride, he learned that she had gone into a convent and had taken a double extra black veil, remarking that nothing was left her now to live for. Opdenheimer has retired from the “Fashion Weekly,” and has now a gloomy out lucrative position on “The Shroud,” the orgna of the undertaking profession.—Puck.