BULLS.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2427, 28 December 1880, Page 4

BULLS.

Honest J. P Armstrong the Dunedin dentist was returning to the bosom of his family a few days ago after a long lecturing tour when he was mistaken for an agricultural show promoter. “ What kind of cattle were you judging ?” asked his fellow passenger. “ Irish hulls ” was the immediate rejoinder and John, looked as serious as an undertaker.

It was a New York lawyer in whose peroration this occurred : —‘ I hope, gentlemen of the jury', that you may have mercy r upon this unhappy man, who has never yet stray'ed from the path of rectitude, and only asks your assistaucc to enable him to return to it,’ An Irish auctioneer, who understood the nature of the telescope, extolled its merits by assuring his auditory ‘ that by' such an instrument the widow’s heart has leaped for joy when she heboid’s her husband at g distance brought near.’

An American orator told a Dublin audience : I We in America have had our day of depression ; yours is just coming on. I hope it is nearly over.’ It was an American lecturer who solemnly said, ‘ Parents, you may have children; if not, your daughters may have.’ It was a German orator who, warming with his subject, exclaimed, “ There is no man, woman, or child in the house, who has arrived at the age of fifty years, but has felt the truth thundering through their minds for centuries.’