VARIETIES.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2423, 22 December 1880, Page 3

VARIETIES.

Fatty Degeneration.—Buttcrino. Elligial—“ Order your statue before you die,” is the newest style of American advertising. The Irish Disturbance " Bill ” AVilliam of Orange. “ I am sawdust when I sing.” as the board remarked to the buzz saw. “ Soldiers must be fearfully dishonest,” said Mrs Partington. “It seems to bo an occurrence every night for a sentry to be relieved of his watch.” Professor —“ What’ arc the constituents of quartz ?” Student —“ Pints.” A bland smile creeps over the class. Alluding to Air Maginnity’s resignation, the ‘ Lyttelton Times ’ says that it was required, not because of hn-hca of official duty or incompetence, but because ho was seriously involved in a social escapade affecting the positions of the lady telegraphists employed in the AA r ellingfon office. It was a question of Air Maginnity’s resignation or of the ladies resigning in a body'. Mr Maginnity has since been appointed ofliccr-in-cliargo at AAHiite Bay at a yearly salary of £l5O. By the premature explosion of a blast on the AVingatui section of railway yesterday', a European, name not yet known, and a Chinaman lies in an unconscious state in the hospital A new dray road is now being opened out to the AA’aimatc Plains, along the line taken by the old horse track from Stratford, and a block of fine land fronting this road will bo next placed in the market. Nearly £90,000 has already been received for the AA r airaate Plains land.