VARIETIES.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2410, 7 December 1880, Page 3

VARIETIES.

‘My work’s dun,’replied the collector, as he started out in the morning. ‘ What is the first tiling to be done in case of fire?’ asked Professor Stearns. * Sue the insurance company,’ promptly answered the boy at the foot of the class, whose father had been burnt out once or twice. What is an artist to do when he is out of canvas? He. should draw on his imagination. The Rev Henry Ward Beecher some time since received a letter from a young man, who recommended himself very highlv as being honest' and closed with the request, “ Got me an easy situation, that honesty may be rewarded. To which Mr Beecher replied“ Don t be an editor, if 3 r ou wish to be ‘ easy. Do not try the law. Avoid schoolkeeping. Keep out of the pulpit. Let alone all ships, stores, shops, and merchandise. Abhor politics. Keep away from lawyers. Don’t practice medicine. 'Be not a farmer nor a mechanic; neither a soldier qpr a sailor. Don’t study. ;Don’t think. Don’t work. None of ;them are easy. Oh, my honest friend, you are in. a very hard world I I know -of but one real ‘ easy’ place in it. That is the grave.’’ Those who came out in the s.s. Orient the voyage before last U.e., when she left Plymouth on April 4) may be interested to know that the young swell who styled himself Dennis Temple and gave out that he was the scion of a noble Irish family was in reality a bank clerk named Newman, who, after marrying a girl for her money, cleared off three days after the wedding with £1,500

The shearing of 197,000 sheep was finished at Lansdowne station, near Tarabo, last month. Much of the work was done by Chinamen, Europeans finding the water at the spouts too cold, even at 17s a-day. So certain were the Sydney people of their champion’s success that poems in honor of his victory were, prepared and printed for distribution on the result being telegraphed. We append a specimen :-r- ‘ With all the blow and talk there s been The race was rowed at last; And Trickett has shown Hanlan That the Yanks are not so fast; That the Yanks are not so fast, my boys, As what they used ]o say ; For Ned them on their merits beat Ten thousand miles away.