M.H.R. PAINTEDBORE; OR, THE COVE VOT PRIZED HIS PIGEE.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2406, 2 December 1880, Page 4

M.H.R. PAINTEDBORE; OR, THE COVE VOT PRIZED HIS PIGEE.

[ln explanation of the following exquisite parody on “Pinafore,” which we take from the Auckland “ Free Lance,” of Nov. 20, we may briefly state that it relates to “ Bertie Saverna,” a Berkshire boar belonging to Mr Hurst, M.H.R. for Auckland West, which was disqualified at the last Agricultural Show—much to the disgust of the honorable member —because it hud been painted with lamp-black and oil.] Scene : The Auckland Cattle Show. ( View of Hurst mere Farm in the distance). Chorus by the Piggy Boars— We crossed the ocean blue, And our Bertie’s thought a beauty ; We sober are and true To our constituents’ duty. Aria by Bertie— For I’m called Bertie Saverna, sleek Bertie Saverna, Though I could never tell why ; So buy of your Saverna, sleek Bertie Saverna, Mutton, beef, pork, will you buy. Hurst —Red am I, and round and rosy. May be I have dissembled well, but Bertie hast ever had a thought that beneath a glossy exterior Alf Isaacs —i have thought it often. Ah ! my dear friend, you’ve climb’d too high—[wiping Bertie with a pockethandkerchief, and discovering a black mixture on the pig’s back]. Uur judges won’t have nothing to say to you. [Enter Judges and McGee.] McGee — Kind Judges, I’ve most important news; Sing hey the great pig judges that you are : And the first prize I am sure you will refuse To the noble J.P. and his boar. Tom Morrin —ln uttering a reprobation To any Berkshire boar, I try to speak with moderation, But you have gone too far. Judges —Blacked his bo-ah-a-a-r ? Shame ! shame ! shame ! Hurst —I’m the owner of the great big boar All —And a darned bail owner too. Hurst— You’re a very measly lot, And you all may go to pot, And I intend at once te sue. All —We arc very very good. And be it understood We all know a thing or two. Then give three groans, and one groan more, For the artful owner of the great black boar. Alf —Sir you are sad. Your silent eloquence proclaims a sorrow far more deep than common. Song, Bertie — I am monarch of the Show, My mother was a well-bred sow ; Little Pig —And so were his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts. Song, Bertie — When I was one of a litter of ten, I could lick all the others in our dirty pen ; My boss got so rich that he was sent To represent us in the Parliament; Then he grew so proud as proud could be. And attempted tricks like the heathen Chinee. Hurst —Bertie, I fear it will be long before I recover my accustomed cheerfulness, for misfortunes crowd upon me, and all my old friends seem to have turned against me. Song— Oh, this is my position. The pig in good condition ; But a day or two ago — However could I do it— I mixed that lamp-black up, And not a creature knew it. Chorus of Committee — However could you do it; No doubt this day you’ll rue it. Bertie —Folks are seldom what they seem; Some look generous, tho’ mean. Take our friend, old Georgy Grey, Does he not lead the serfs astray ? Hurst — Very true, So he do. Bertie —Black sheep dwell in every fold, Pigs look young when they arc old ; Mcbmers can do scurvy tricks, While their conscience never pricks. Hurst— l agree, Entirelee. Judges to H —Well, we need not tell you that after this change in your condition, to award you the first prize will be utterly out of the question. Song Hurst— Oh, Bertie, dear Bertie I fear it’s all up I’ve watched you develope since you were a pup: With pride I have noticed each curl on your tail, But, alas, all my efforts are of no avail. Those cursed white hairs on your body appeared Although with great care and much grease you w T ere smeared. Oh, Bertie, how went you to go for to do so ? Such conduct on your part I cannot excuse —no ! The moral to this little play Is that you never know the day— And mind it carefully, you note — When a member or a pig may change the color of his coat. All — What, never ? Hurst Hardly ever? Curtain