VARIETIES.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2389, 12 November 1880, Page 3

VARIETIES.

The Pule of Civilsiilion. Pearl powder. In mince pics there is meat for repentance. To make superb soup use the proper soup herbs. A ship’s rudder is a stern necessity : and a spoon is a stir necessity too. A Finn Foundation. —Establishing - a partnership. A very good story is told of Captain Beckham, who was the Ilesident Magistrate at Auckland for many years. A young woman bi’Ought a man into Court for sustenance money for a baby, of which he was the reputed father. In order to escape payment, the man brought three or four other mean skunks to swear that they had been equally guilty. Judge, therefore of their consternation when Beckham ordered each of them to pay five shillings per week for a number of years. Captain Beckham was applauded, the woman delighted, the men dumbfounded, and baby numerously fathered. There is another good story told. A sailor was brought before Captain Beckham one morning on a charge of being drunk and disorder!}'. The man had on a very dirty shirt, and evidently thinking that soap was more wanted than beer, Beckham gruffly demanded, “ How long do you wear your shirt, sir ?” To the astonishment of the Court the sailor replied, “ Six inches above my knees your Worship; how long do wear yours p” “ Forty shillings and costs or forty-eight hours’ hard labor; take him away,” was the crushing rejoinder. Economy of Words.— ‘‘If I have ever used any unkind words, Hannah,” said Mr Smiley reflectively, “ I take them all back.'’ “ Yes ; I suppose you want to nse them all over again,” was the not very soothing reply.—Hew Haven [Register. 1

In 1861 the Victorian Legislature fixed the salary of the Governor of that Colony at £ 16,000 a-ycar, but subsequently complacent Ministers have increased the allowance until it now amounts to £15,000. The “Age” in demanding a material reduction, mentions that a special train, costing £G6, was the other day provided in order that the Governor might shoot six snipe. Such waste must cease. The saucepan that cooks the Governor’s cauliflower — even the cauliflower itself —is State property. If he breaks a tumbler the State replaces it; if his cook cracks a kettle it is mended at the expense of the general revenue. The Governor’s private flower-beds and kitchen garden have confessedly absorbed more than £2,000 a-year, which is rather a high sum to pay for watering his flower-pots and raising peas and passion-fruit for his table. An old lady who was recently overhoard to ask her little boy how he dare steal the molasses syruptitiouslj 7 . “Bottle for bottle I can understand,” said an easy going master of a house to his butler, on being informed that a favorite bin of Madcria was exhausted ; “ but your two to my one is rather too bad.”