MICK AND PAT ON PARLEMINT.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2314, 17 August 1880, Page 3

MICK AND PAT ON PARLEMINT.

“ Auckland Star.” “ I say, Pat, what’s the nows in the paper this week ?” “ Oh, the sorra much, of vale news, but any amount of talk goin’ on in Parle mint as ushool —they do a lot more talkin’ than thinkin’ or workin’.”

“ Bcgorra, I think you’re right there Pat, any way.” “ Eight, of coorso I am, and the mischif of it is, the cunthrcc lias to pay for the talk at so much a yard—forty poun’s a yard, I belave—at least a miraber said in the House not long ago that fifty yards cosht two thousan’ pouns’, and I’m not much of a shkolar, but if I couldn’t reckin that up, may the ghost of ould Mulligan of the county Shligo, me old teacher*, haunt me till me dyin’ day.” “ Amin, Pat, begorra you’re right,you were always clivir—forty pouns’ a yard —shuro you’d get a sthring of ballidsin the ould counthree 50 yards long, for 50 pince, and with as much sinse in them as in some of the mimbor’s speeches any way.”

Pat—“lt says in the “ Shtar ” sum whare that ‘ words are loike sunbames, the more they are candinscd the betther they burn.’ I’m thinkin’ at any rate, the sorra much the New Zayland number's talk will set on fire—they say tin words whare wan ’ud do —thayr’e like a lot of ould wimmin.” Mick —“ Like a lot of ould wimmin, did you say ? Begorra they’re not half as good—whin a woman has got nothin’ to talk about, she can talk like Ould Nick, but whin she has got anythin’ to do she can work like him too. In ginral they have more ‘ savey ’ —as the Chiuee-mau says —than the men. So long life to Docthor Wallis, and may the wimmin get into Parlcmint afore long. I say, Pat, ware you ever in wan of these Parlcmint houses

“ Oh, yis. I ushed to dhrop in now and agin to the wan over at an’ I suppose they’rc’s not much diffrincc between here an’ thare. "Wan old gintleman sits at the head of a long table. He wears a black cloak an’ they call him the Spayker ; but I couldn’t make out why, for sorra quieter wau in the whole lot than he, nor wan that spakes less—he only spakes whin he’s spoken to, an’ thin ginirally says only wan word, ‘Ordher.’ ” Mick —Is he the guvermint, Pat ? “Guvermint bo banged, no —he’s thereto cry ordher, and his ‘sarjint-with-arms’ is there to keep it.” “Begorra you spake quarc Pat he’d be a mighty quarc lookin’ sai'jint without arms—but any way, do they ever abuse each other much P”

“ Oh yes, after thare own shtyle—wan fellow says to the other —The ’onorable number For ‘ so and so is a liar.’ ”

Mick —“ Oil now go aisy Pat, they’d nivir allow such talk in such company.” Pat —Well, what he says conics to the same thing any way —ho says “ The ’onorablcnumber is raisreprisiniin’, or the ’onorable number knows different, or the ’onorablc number should be ashamed of himself, or the ’onorablc number wouldn’t say. so outside,” and so on.

Mick —Well, bedad you’re right agin’ Pat; ho might as well say at wanst “ The ’onorable gintilman is a liar !” Mighty quare ’ouor that, howivir! Do they ivir shtrike aich other ? “ On, no, the Spayker shouts “Ordher, you must withdraw your words.” so the fellow says “ All right Mr Spayker I withdhraw,” but of course, Mick, he bad thim wUhdhrawn long afore he spoke thim, —the other fellow feels the blow all the same too.”

Mick —Does he get leave to talk any more ?

Pat —“ Oh yis he goes on for another spell till there’s another ‘ Ordher’ and another ‘bcgpardiu,’ ‘hear, hear,’ ‘chair, chair,’ till you’d ackshooly think that Jeremy Lannigan’s invitashuns ware all acciptid an’ that the ball was in full swing.”

Mick—“l hope thej r don’t pull the left leg from undher the table.” “ Well, I don’t know about the table, but 1 oftin hoar thim singin’ out ‘ support the chair,’ so I suppose the leg was pulled out of it inshtcad.” Mick —“ Musha sad manners to thim for ’onorables—an’ they nivir shtrike aich other, you say.” “ Well, not exactly, though they make ail sorts of 1 motions,’ and thry to ‘ divide ’ the house—thin whin its getting on late in the night, you’ll- see wau fellow with his legs up on the sofa, another fellow laynin’ on the back of it talkin to him, another layin’ fast asleep till the wan that’s talkin’ says somethin agin him, when he’s up like a shot on at him. Sometimes its not “ convaneyant to get up and say anythin’,” so the ’onox’able gintleman shleeps on ” Mick —I suppose the dhrop of dhrink they get goes into thare head.” Pat —“ Oh, I don’t say that, but any how I sometimes hear the Spayker say, ‘ Bing the bell, sarjint, and thin somethin’ is ordered ‘ to be laid on the table,’ an’ thin th’ bill is read over a couple of times to see that its all right, an’ thin I suppose they pay it like men. I don’t say exactly what th’ Spayker ‘ rung for,’ but. I hear they had a mighty big beer bill not long ago.”

Mick—“ Well musha bad luck to th’ dhrink, an’ thats the beslit speech ivir any man made in Paricment or out of it but you didn’t tell me who the Guvermint is, Pat.” ‘* Well sometimes wan lot of fellows, an’ sometimes another. You know the people picks out thare riprisentativos, an’ thin th’ Guvernor picks out wan of thim that has the xnoslxt backers, an’ thin he picks out a lot of his old cronies, an’ thin him an’ his gang is called the Guveminint, or th’ Cabinet, or th’ Ministhry, an’ thin they go off with a great rush to guvern the people, but the fun of it is the other fellows, th’ opposishun thay call thim, picks holes in ivry thing the Guvernmint does, right or wrong, and docs thare utmosht to smash the Cabinet ivxy time they get a chance, inshtcad of polishin’ it up an’ making it look well, — of course that’s presumin’that its a good wan an’ worth th’ throublc.”

Mick —“ Do thay pay th’ people for th’ fine chance thay have of Jcarnin’ to spake, an’ learniu’ to chatc, an’, &e., &c.”

Pat—“ Oh th’ sorra fear, its th’ other way, the people pays thim, and pays thim well too—th’ Guvermint is th’ sarvint of th’ people, but begorra nowadays thare more like tlx’ bosses.”