VARIETIES.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2262, 17 June 1880, Page 2

VARIETIES.

Dnmas'says : Give money, but never lend it. Giving it only makes a man ungrateful, lending it only makes him an enemy.

Good and Bad Signs.-—lt is a good sign to see a man doing an act of charity to his fellows. It is a bad sign to hear him boasting of it. It is a good sign to see the color of health in a man’s face. It is a bad sign to see it all concentrated in his nose. It is a good sign to see an honest man wearing old clothes. It is a bad sign to sec them filling holes in his windows. It is a good sign to see a woman dressed with taste and neatness. It is a bad sign to see her parading the streets in costly silks and satins, when her husband or father cannot pay his debts. A Persian proverb says : —“ Ten measures of talk were thrown down upon the cartli, and the women took nine.” If your son lias no brains don’t send him to college. You cannot make a palace out of a shanty by putting a French roof on it

The Latest Election Intelligence.— Young Gentleman : Oh, have you heard Nellie? Mamma says papa’s been returned. Nelly (thunderstruck): Wouldn’t they have him, then ?

Election Fact. The scene of this dialogue was Hackney. Time —Wednesday morning:—Canvasser (to son, of elector, aged five years) : Is Mr Gnbbins in? Son: No, he’s out. Canvasser: Do you know, my little man, whether he is a Liberal or a Conservative p Son : I know he ain’t neither, ’cause he’s a dustman.

Bad Boys. —“It is generally the case with bad boys.” philosophically remarks Miss Anthony, “ That they look like their mother and act like their father.”

Matrimonial.—Why are there more marriages in winter than in summer ? Because then men seek comforters and ladies seek muffs.

“ Isn’t your husband a little bald ?” inquired one lady of another. “ There isn’t a bald hair in his head,” indignantly replied his wife. The Coming Census. —“ A sensestaber,” said the old lady, “waal, there’s mo an’ Jeremiah, an’ Sarah. Ann, an’ that’s all, ’cept Jem, an he’s a fool, and hain’t got no senses to take.” Father a Long One. —“ How mucli are these goods a yard ?” said a gentleman in a, dry goods store the other day, as he picked up and examined a piece of milled silk. “ Good gracious 1” cried the horrified clerk, “ that isn’t for sale! That’s the end of a lady’s train !_ She’s just gone up to the third story in the elevator.”