Page 2 Advertisements Column 3

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2257, 11 June 1880, Page 2

How to Get an Arm}'. —They talk about the weakness of our army, and the impossibility of putting one in the field at short notice; but let the Government issue a call for 400,000 majorgenerals, and we'll bet they'll get 'cm in two days. Tennyson frequently spends hours over a single line of his poetry before lie can get it right, and the Sweet Singer of Michigan says if she couldn't write poetry faster than that she would be ashamed of herself. "A comedy,"says Mr IT. J. Byron,. the well-known actor and dramatist, "is like a cigar. If it's good, everyone wants a box ; if it's bad, no amount of putting will make it draw." Not in Her.—A gentleman said to his partner at a dance. ' : Look at that lovely girl over there : she's just as handsome as she can be !" " Yes," was the reply, " but, poor thing, she can't bo very handsome." The " Puff " Destructive.—A dealer in cheap shoes recently counselled in one of his advertisements "Ladieswishing these cheap shoes will do well to call soon, as they will not last long." 1 As man}' as four deaths are reported? as having taken place at Birmingham,, and one at Nottingham, in consequenceov excitement caused by the recent; election. A singular instance of how not to do it has occurred at a cavalry drill of the 4th Chasseurs, at Marseilles. A charging squadron ran into some skirmishers, unhorsed and wounded four, and killed one outright. ''lf I punish you," said mamma to her little girl, " you don't suppose I do so for my own pleasure, do you?" " Then whose pleasure is it for, mamma?"