JOSH BILLINGS ON GHOSTS.
A ghost is about sft. 7in. in height, and weighs from 4to G oz. They are of the maskuliiiG and feminine natur, but principally natur. They ain’t afraid ov nothing, and will hang around a graveyard az kareless az a skoolboy will around a uorchard in green-apple time. They are like a grate menny other things in this world —often heard ov but seldom seen. I will give 1,000 dels, to see a ghost, and 250 dels, more to own one ; but I want one kaught whole and not hurt. Mi friend, Phineas T. Baruum, will take a whole drove ov them at the price per ghost, and not quarrel about the gender. Therefore, bring } r our ghosts. Ghosts allwus dress in a witc-nitegown sort of rig, and arc the quickest that have ever been trotted out yet. Their ordinary gait iz a mile in a seckuud, but it iz sed, for a purse, they can beat ibis handy. I would really like to see one go in pnblik for mimny—private time is allwus suspishus. Whi don’t some of our agricultural hoss-lro assosiashuns offer a ghost puss, free for all ghosts ? It would draw like a mustard-plaster in. the mouth of August.
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https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/SCANT18800514.2.15
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South Canterbury Times, Issue 2233, 14 May 1880, Page 2
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206JOSH BILLINGS ON GHOSTS. South Canterbury Times, Issue 2233, 14 May 1880, Page 2
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