TAKING HOME OYSTERS.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2233, 14 May 1880, Page 2

TAKING HOME OYSTERS.

TOWN EDITION.

[Detroit Free Press.] A First Ward man was told by bis wife to bring homo a quart of oysters to fry for supper. He drank a few prescriptions of egg-nogg, and then look a paper bag full of selects and started for home. Ho stopped at two or throe saloons, and the bag began to melt, and, when ho left the last saloon the bottom fell out of the bag, and the oysters wore on the sidewalk; W r o will leave the man there, gazing upon the wreck, and take the reader to the residence where he is expected. A redfaced woman is putting the finishing touches to the supper table, and wondering why her husband docs not como with tho oysters. Presently a noise as of a lead pencil in the keyhole salutes her car, and she goes to the door and opens it, and finds Idm taking the pencil out of the key-hole. Not seeing any oysters, she asks Idm if he has forgotten the oysters. Forgotten noth — (hie) —ing,” says he. He walks up to the table and asks for a plate, which is given by tho unsuspicious wife. “ Damsaccidcnt 3 r ou ever (hie) see,” says tho truly old man as he brought his baud out of his overcoat pocket with four oysters, a little smoking tobacco and a piece of cigar stub. “ Slippcrys-oystcrsy (hie) er was,” said he, as he run his hand down in the other pocket, bringing up live oysters, a piece of envelope and a piece of wire that was used as a bail to the pail. “ Got all my p(hic)ockcts full.” said he as he took a large oyster out of his vest pocket. Then he began to go down in his pants pocket, and finding a hole in it he said ; “ Six big (hic)sters gone down my trousers leg. Spos ’ill find them in my boot,” and he sat down to pull off his boot, when the lady took the plate of oysters and other stuff into the kitchen and threw them into the swill, and then she put him to bed, and all the time ho was trying to tell her how the bag burst just as he was in frontof All Saints’ Ca(hic)thcdral.”