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South Canterbury Times, Issue 2226, 6 May 1880, Page 3

A white man who had married a negress black as the ace of spades, offered color-blindness for an excuse.

Cincinatti school - boy’s thought:— “Wonder whether Napoleon ever sat down on a pin without hollerin ’?” “Cut and come again,” as the girl said to her lover when she heard the old man stumbling around in the dark. It is sometimes a question whether the goat in the back yard or the oleomargarine on the hotel table is the strongest butter. Human Inconsistency.—The man who starts for the river to drown himself will run for a place of safety if he sees a cross bull coming. “I am a broken man,” said a poet. “ So I should think,” was the answer, “ for I have seen your pieces.” Tcmpora Mutantur. —Formerly the foolish virgins had no oil; now the foolish virgins are too free with the kerosene.

At a christening, while the minister was making bis certificate,be inquired the day of the month, and happened to say, “Let me see, this is the thirtieth.” “ The thirtieth ! ” exclaimed the indignant mother ; “ indeed, but it’s only the thirteenth.”