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South Canterbury Times, Issue 2221, 30 April 1880, Page 3

Professor ; “ Can you multiply concrete numbers together ?” The class all uncertain. Professor : “ What will be the product of live apples multiplied by six potatoes ?” Pupil (triumphantly) : “ Hash.” Two of those ornaments made of plaster of paris flavored with sugar were bestowed upon an urchin, with the usual warning, “Dont cat them, whatever you do ; they will poison you.” For some time they were regarded by him and his younger brother with mingled awe and admiration : hut at no distant day their mother missed one. “ Tom,” said she to the owner, who was just setting forth for school, “ what have ’ce done with that figure ?” “ Giv’d it to Dick,” was the reply; “ and if he’s living when I come home, I mean to cat the other one myself.” The London “ Sporting Times ” tells this good story ; —A clergyman who lately left Liverpool in one of the huge ocean steamers began to feel rather uncomfortable soon after leaving the mouth of the river, and having an introduction to the captain, sought him out, to learn if there was any danger. The captain did not answer immediately hut led his passenger to the forecastle and told him to listen to what was going on. The clergyman was shocked to hear a party of sailors swearing vigorously, and expressed his horror to his conductor. The captain merely remarked—“Do you think these men would swear in such a manner if there was any real danger ?” "Whereupon the parson seemed satisfied and retired. A day or two afterwards, when they encountered rather a severe storm, the clergyman, remembering what he had been shown before, managed to make his way with great difficulty to the forecastle, and was overheard Ity the captain, as he came awajq exclaiming to himself : —“ Thank God they’re swearing yet!”