Page 3 Advertisements Column 1

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2209, 16 April 1880, Page 3

What is the relative worth of woman? —Double you, O man. What lovers swear —To bo true unlil death. What husbands swear —Unfit for publication. The same “old story'’ that makes “ two hearts beat as one” is too often like a bar of soap—so full of lye it won’t wash. How docs a pitcher of water differ from a man throwing his wife over a bridge ? —One is water in the pitcher, and the other is pitch her in the water. “ How is it, miss, you gave your age to the census-takers as only twentyfive, when you were born the same year I was, and I am thirty-nine ? “Ah ! you have lived much faster than I, sir.” It is related of Dr, Garth, in his last illness, when he saw his fellow doctors consulting together at his bedside, and he raised his head from his pillow and said with a smile: “ Dear gentlemen, let me die a natural death.” A forty-day husband, on whom the memory of the honeymoon already seems to have become powerless, wants to know why his wife is like a small pie? Do 3 r ou give it up? Answer: “ Because,” says the unfeeling wretch, “she is now a little fart!”—American Paper. “ What in the Captain’s but a Choleric Word.”—The Laird (to his gardener, who had caught somebody trespassing) : “ Hum ! And you say, Saunders, that the fellow was impudent ?” Gardener : “ Impident! ’deed, sir, if he had been the laird himself ho could na hac been mair ill-bred.” “ I make it my point, madam, to study my own mind,” said a gentleman to a lady who had exhibited some surprise at an opinion he expressed. “ Indeed,” she replied, “ I didn’t suppose you understood the use of the microscope.” Something for Welsh readers. Among the latest Gorman patent applications there is one, we are told, for the process of making a green colour by oxidising the sulphide of tetramethyldiamidotriphenylmethan.

Late Adyertisements. ST. MARY’S CHURCH. THE REV B. DUDLEY, of Auckland will preach on SUNDAY, April 18, Morning and Evening. HENRY W. HARPER, Archdeacon, NOTICE. I HEREBY Clive Notice that all accounts owing, me must be paid forthwith to Mr J. Allpress, whose receipt will be a suflicient discharge. JAMES GIBSON. IN BANKRUPTCY. R. IN THE DISTRICT COURT of TIMARU and OAMARU Holden at Tiinaru. In the matter of “ The Debtors and Creditors Act 1870 ” and the several Acts amending the same and of the bankruptcy of John David Rogers a debtor. Notice is hereby given that at the first meeting of creditors of John David Rogekk of Timaru New Zealand butcher held at the District Court House Timaru on the 1-lth day of April 1880 Josephus Murphy of Timaru aforesaid hotelkeeper was elected creditors’ trustee of the property of the said debtor and that the said Josephus Murphy has in writing accc2)ted the said Trusteeship. Dated this 1-lth day of April 1880. THOMAS HOWLEY Clerk of Court. Godby & Tosswill, Solicitors for the debtor. BELFORD FLOUR MILLS MAIN SOUTH ROAD, TIMARU. J- G. ALLEN PRACTICAL MILLER. N.B. —J. G. Allen hereby notifies to the Farmers and stationholdcrs of Timaru, and the Surrounding Districts, that he has rented that FIRST-CLASS MILL, Situated in the Main South Road, and is prepared to execute all orders for Gristing Grain committed to his care, at lowest current rates, and is likewise ready to STORE GRAIN, OR PURCHASE In Large or Small Quantities IS* FOR CASH, ON HAND FOR SALE— Flour, Bran, Sharps, and Fowl’s FeedNote the Address— J. G. ALLEN, (Belford Mill, Main South Road), TIMARU —:o Railway Siding to Mill Door. n. K S. S. KAKANUI, Captain Sundstrom, WILL RUN REGULARLY betweenTimaru and Dunedin twice a weeltFreight, including landing, Us per tom. ML ZIESLERj Agent,