Page 3 Advertisements Column 1

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2184, 18 March 1880, Page 3

Mr Molony, Irish farmer (to Mr Flynn, the agent)—“ Sure I’ve come to ask your Honuer to say a word to the Masthcr for me for the Elack Eorcon houlding.” Agent Masthcr won’t take a tennant without capital.’, Mr Molony— “And is it capital? Sure, I’ve three hundred pounds in the bank this niinnit!” Agent—“ Oil, I thought I saw your name to that petition for a reduction of rents, as you were all starving !” Mr Molony-—“ Tare, and agers Mr Flynn, darlin’t! Is the petition gone to the Masther yet ? If your Homier could just give me ahoultavit, that Imay strike my name out!” (A tact) “Punch.” A riddle. Why is a handsome woman like a locomotive ? No —you’re wrong. It is not because she sometimes draws a long train ; it is not because she indulges in “ sparks it is not because she has something to do with a switch ; it is not because she transports the males ; it is not because she may have a head-light; it—in fact a handsome woman is not in the least like a locomotive—not even when she is a little fast and blows up her husband. — New York “ World.” A Very Different Matter.—Southern Lord (staying at Highland castle) “ I—ah—wcally enjoy your music. I think of having a piper at my own place.” Sandy the piper— ■“ An fat kin’ o’ a piper would } T our lordship be needin’ p” Southern Lord —“ Oh certainly, a good piper like yourself, Sandy.” Sandy (sniffling)—“Och, intcet, ye might easily tin’ a lord like your lordship, but it’s no sac easy to fin’ a piper like me whatever.”— “ Punch.”

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