Gossip-free zone

Ruapehu Bulletin, Volume 14, Issue 679, 25 March 1997, Page 4

Gossip-free zone

# My eyebrows have been raised to unprecedented heights of late over an increased level in gossiping offences. I realise it's a seasonal thing and when winter kicks in, what with the dog coming in and out covered in mud and bits of the neighbours' sheep, people just won't have time to do it! There must be people out there who are crying out for access to a 'GOssip Helpline', when a gossip attack, a really bad one, strikes. They tell me that sometimes it's like being faced with a glorious crayfish meal. The mouth salivates so much but the result can often be a fishy taste in the mouth, fishy hands, the possibility of fly-blow and the damn thing can bite the hand that's eating it. These attacks just seem to strike anytime, cutting across gender and age; things like "you see them (no names) gossiping after school", "his car was outside her house yesterday", hang on, "they (no names) don't stop here, they can't support local business", or "they (no names) don't retum strangers". That last one is farm-speak and doesn't mean that strangers looking like Hugh Grant or Sam Neill are kept captive by local ladies. You can scoff, but I'll offer for what its worth an 'Aunt Daisy' type remedy for a gossip attack: Couple of deep breaths, a cup of warm water in milk, a brisk walk if possible, a 'Spirulina' if you can afford it, collapse into lotus position with low ommming sound, Sellotape the mouth and dash out and perform worthwhile

community tasks. Failing all this, let's cross our fingers for an ash-free eossiD-free winter.

Justine

Adams