SHEER RUBBISH

Rotorua Morning Post, Volume 2, Issue 575, 5 July 1933, Page 7

SHEER RUBBISH

ideas of jungle* EXPLORBR CHjRONICLES HlS EXPERIENQES DURINiG TRAYELS. SOME STRANGE. STORIES. If stories of .fish that clixnb trees and 'bury (themselves in the ground, of earth-worms that sing and snakes that conrmit suicide, of elephant ventriloquists, and of bushes that lie- down recall the immorfca.1 tales of Baron Munchausen, then the author of "Light on the Dark Continent" must not iblame the reader, but must attribute it to his own irrepressible sense of humour and to the light-hearted manner in which he records observations I made during his adventurous journeys IJ into the remoter parts of the earth. I As an explorer, Mr. Carveth Wells I has done serious and valuable work. 1 As a chronicler of his travels, he is j before all else a humorist. I The idea of Central Africa, says Mr. I Wells, as a vast jungle infested with S iman-eating lions, poisonous isnakes, 1 the tse-tse fly, fever, and intolerable j heat, is sheer rubbish. The worst "jungle" in the lion country he dej scribes iais something like an apple orchard; the Mountains of the Moon are on the Equator; yet the temperaI ture is almost Arctie; whilst, far from incurring danger from the animal life of the country, he declares that it is the easiest task to go about taking motion-pictures of zebras, lions iand giraffes. Dangerous When Angry. Animals are dangerous only when !they are angry, and they never are angry until someone makes them *o. That is the author's firm belief. The easiest iway to rmake an animal angry is to shoot at it, as is" illustrated by the following anecdote: — A woman decided she would like to start big game hunting by shooting a rbinoeeros, because they are so easy to hit." She did not know that the ordinary lead bullets have no effect upon the rhino, and that you must use a special metal-jacket cartridge. She happened to meet a rhinoceros on the road while driving and she shot it. It took no notice of her, and she shot it again. She shot it seven times before it looked up — then it tore her to pieces. I The next day the Nairobi football ' iteaan was motoring over the same | road. In the front of the car was the I captain of the team and his wife. As k j they drew near the scene of the previous day's disaster, they saw a rhino running towards them. It was not

. until the beast was nearly upon them thiait the man sensed danger, but before he eould get from behind the wheel the rhino was upon them. The woman saw the beast turn the machine over and kill her husband. When the other players drove up they shot the rhino and found seven lead hullets in its side. It was wild, and had been waiting to avenge itself on another car. Not Man-Eaters. Lions, says Mr. Wells, will not devour human flesh unless* they are unahle to find their natural prey. The raids by man-eaters at Tsavo, sorne 3 years ago, were due to the fact that railway construction had driven away the zebras, upon which the lions had been wont to feed. As soon asf the work stopped the zebras returned, and ■the lions then resumed their normal habits. A lion cannot chase its prey over long distances, its museles being made primarily for springing, so that a sprint of more than a hundred yards leaves him winded and spent. To compensate for this handicap lions have ventriloquial gifts; if the prey is close at hand, (they can roar as if they were a mile away so as to deceive their prey until -within easy striking distance. A Dainty AHy. According to the belief of one of Mr. Wells' colleagues, who tells the following story, the lion has an ally in the honey-bird, which lures the prey into ambush: — Once while hunting in Uganda we were attraeted by the antics of a honejigbird. We followed it, and in .half an hour it hegan to show signs of excitement. Sure enough, right near the .scene of its frenzied fluttering we found honey. The bird watched. us until we finished, and when we started away it began again to entice us. Thinking that he mighit lead us to more honey we followed and stopped in time to see a lion about forty yards away, which we shot. Later my boys told me thait the bird led us. to the lion because we did not share the honey with him. Malay Crocodiles. More dangerous than th'e lions of Africa are the man-eating crocodiles of Malaya, which slip up behind their vietims on the river bank and hurl him into the water with one flip of their tadl. They poke the victim into th'e mud of the river bed, leaving him to, drown, and return later for their meal, after which they bask in the sun with their mouths open so that the zic-zac birds may pick their teeth. When a Malay catches a crocodile, the first thing he does is to rip open its stomach, where he usually finds

treasure trove in the form of jewellery, wiaitches, cuff-links, or studs. Elephant's Grudge. The Malay jungle is also famous for its elephants. It is said that an elephant never forgets. The following story shows that it will nurse a grudge against another -animal a,s well as against a man: — This elephant took a violent dis'like to a small dog that used to run in frdnt of him and snap ait his toes. One da.y, while I was riding him back to I camp, we passed' the dog fast asleep I under a tree. The elephant stopped, j kicked a large piece of dirt in the [ dog's direction, but missed. We went i on to the river bank for a bath. As j I was mounting him to return, he stirred up the water ' in a pool and I filled his trunk with mud and stones. The dog was still lasleep when we got iback, and the elephant squirted the contents of his trunk on the poor pup> Who scurried off, yelping with fright. Quieen Malayan Animals. Malaya has indeed some queer animals: flying foxes, flying squirrels, birds that sleep upside down, and the diminutive mouse-deer, which' escapes j from tigers iand leopards by jumping into the air and seizing a tree branch with tthe two sharp tusks in its upper jaw. Perhaps the most extraordinary aniimal described by Mr. Wells is the lemiming — a kind of guinea-pig — of which he saw a migration in Lapliand. No lemming has ever been seen except during a migration; then millions of them appear, moving slowly towards the coast and laying waste the land they traverse. When they reaeh the co-ast they .swim out to sea and disappear. Hotel Baths. Not all Mr. Wells' stories are of the jungle and its denizens. There are .some amusing anecdotes of bathing facilities in various parts of the world. In a Damaseus hotel the various baithrooms were situated aboVe one another. In the top one was a Vassar (girl, on the third floor was Mr. Wells, heneath him a Tex.as judge, and in the lowest was a Brooklyn landlady who was "doing" the Mediterranean: Every'thing was all right until the. Yassar girl finished her bath and pulled the plug. Immediately my bath filled with her bath-water, plus a dozen cigarette butts. I leaped out f my tub and pulled the plug'. A muffled roar of anger told me that Texas had received my bathwater, plus the cigarette ends. As th'e judge usually ate grapes when he took a bath, I can just imagine Mrs. Grabbit's feelings when she was suddenly deluged with the remains of all - three baths. I shall never forget the mournful wails that emanated from the bathroom when the deluge hit her. On another occasion the author wias a guest in an hotel in Lapland where the Queen of Holland was also staying. A lady-in-waiting had ordered a bath to be prepared for the Queen. Suddenly water came drdpping through the dining-rom ceiling, and an infuriated diner demanded the cause: — A waiter scurried out to investigate, with the manager at his heels. Presently the pair returned, silent and awed. "It is very difficult to explain," said the manager. "It is not the plumbing. It is . . . well, it should not be mentioned, but the Queen, she is baving her hath . . . and her bath-tub . . it is so very small!" There was an immediate commotion among the ladies at a near-by table, and one did the graceful thing. Snatching from the table an empty water-ibottle, she reverently collected the slackening patter as a memento — the bath-water of Royalty! Another anecdote concerning Royalty — though it 'is- a far cry from Lapland to Uganda. Mr. Wells once showed a photograph of our King and Queen to a Masai chief who, on learning that King George had only one wife, asked in a surprised tone: "What, then, does he do with all his money?"