THE CHESTNUT TREE

Rotorua Morning Post, Volume 2, Issue 416, 28 December 1932, Page 3

THE CHESTNUT TREE

His Usual Work. — Magistrate: What is your usual work? Prisoner: Housework, sir. Magistrate: What kind of housework? Prisoner: Work-liouse work. Of Unconvincing. — "You are looking very well, sir." "Yes; how old would you think I am?" "I suppose you must be about 80 " "No, not quite; I'm 72." "Well, L never! You don't look it." w -Jf ^ Something to Remember. — Husband: Oli, for heaven's sake, don't re- [ mina me of tliat escapade. I thougbt ' you tohi me you'd forgotten and for- 1 given. Wife: Yes, but 1 don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and —forgotten. «• * * T'ne Only One. — When Murio] ob tained a temporary situation at a seaside town all .her fair frionds enviod her. After a month she came back looking tanned, but not pleased. "IIullo, Muriel!" cried someone 011 ! her return home. "Did you enjoy j yourself? IIow many nice boys did j you see?" j "One!" snapped Muriel. "Only one?" echoed her friend, amazed. "Yos," growled Muriel, "and that one was two miles out at sea, witli a bell and a lamp on it." * * 7f Exacting. — Fussy Old Gentleman tto waiter) : Bring me a boiled egg— notj too hard, and not soft. Waiter: Yes, sir. Anything else? Customer: Toast, tliin, not too hard, but well browned. Waiter: Very good, sir. Any specialj design of egg cup, sir?

Too Long. — Maiden Aunt: Your young man usually seems to be late when he calls. I wouldn't stand it myself. Girl: But, auntie, dear, I'd sooneT wait an liour than for ever. * a a A Relapse. — Smith: IIullo, Jones. 1 hear your wife is learning to drivr your car? IIow's she getting on? Jones: I'm afraid she took a turn for the worse yesterday. old man! A Question of Arithmetic. — Witl nafural pedagogic pessimism the math pjnatics master was bomoaning thc otospeetive fate of the elass in the .'ortheoming examination. Ile impressed upon them that they stood not the slightest cliance of passing in fln's particular subject. "The moths' pnpors." he concluded "are macle 10 per cent. harder every yc ;:r." A stege whispcr bvoke the silence that followed. "Now we know why he srot tlirough it." ' Caught.— TIie teaclier liad remarked during the lesson that a surname very often indicated the trade of the ancestors of those who bore the name Questioning oue of the boys, slie asked li'm, "What were your ances tors, Webb?" Ile tliouglit for a moment, then replied, "Spiders, Miss!" a Such a Relief. — Daisy, who lxad been jilted by a fascinating stranger, was bemoaning lier sad fate. "Oh, what a silly girl I've been," slie sobbed to a select circle of her girl friends. "I've been oue of the | biggest fools, and uever knew it." j "Never mind, Daisy," piped up her [ dearest enemy. "If you didn't .know !it. we did."