THIS TERRIBLE WORLD WE LIVE IN

Rotorua Morning Post, Volume 1, Issue 182, 26 March 1932, Page 4

THIS TERRIBLE WORLD WE LIVE IN

Being the Brief Impressions of the Man in the Street on current affairs Man, said the man in street, with a sigh, was undoubtedly born to trouble as the sparks fly upward, in fact so far as his own case was coneerned, sparks weren't flying "ohly upwards, but all round .the happy home. * * * It was unfortunate that he had slipped on the mat- coming home that night, but as he had subsequently cxplained to his wife, when she had paused for breath, it was better for a man to ccme home late than never. :J: Unfortunately his wife had not accepted this remark in the spirit in which it was intended, and had called up her storm troops in the shape of her mother, who was pretending to be asleep in the next room. The pair of them had then proeeeded to prove to his own and the neighbour's satisfaction, that woman was still the speaker sex, and that even if the law was an ass, a mother-in-law was the acid. He supposed that if he had lived in the good old days when men were men and women were simply cluhmates he would have done something abont it, but as it was he h'ad simply made up a bed on the settee and had retired to reflect that although an Englishman's house might still be his castle, after marriage, he spent most of his time in the dungeoii keep. * * * He had once or twice en- ; deavoured to move the closj ure, but his wife and his motheri in-law had been like Messrs. Fraser ! and Lee, and had refused to withj draw. Although, it had been a very j painful scene, and it was his considI ered opinion, that although married | life might be all right for a man like ! Julius Caesar, who had a wife above reproach, for an ordinary individual like liimself, it was a mug's game. As far as he could see, all that he had done by taking a wife, was to exchange single bliss for a married blizzard. However, to turn from one painful subject to another, he noticed that after a lengthy period of brooding, Mr. Coates had at last produc- ' ed his long expected unemployment statement. He would not mention other words beside long expected which he had heard applied to the statement, but in his opinion, they were well chosen. Ple had been so deeply moved when he had learned that Mr. Coates intended to increase | the wages tax to a sliilling in the ! pound, tlaat the barman'had become j quite nasty. The way things were j going, the man who got the tax was | a lot better off than the man who got j the wages, and taken all in all, it ap- , peared that more than the unemployi ed were over the fence. Mr. Stew- ! art had kept up the joyous chorus by | announcing another addition to the j deficit, but strangely enough, very | little had been heard of Mr. Forbes, | who had apparently developed sudden : closures into such a habit that he had | contracted lock-jaw.

, - - j [ He was a little concerned to know i [ what had happened recently, to Mr. j i Norman (Lizard) Smith, the Terror j of the Toheroas. He had been afj fected to observe Mr. Smith's solici- ; tude for toheroas, and thought that 1 in this respect, he was a shining ex- ' ample to the ordinary motorist, who | drew no distinction between a tohi eroa and an ordinary pedestrian. | Time and again, Mr. Smith had only | been prevented from shattering the most stupendous speed reeords, by the spectacle of a defenceless toheroa ! in his path, which only went to sliow that a toheroa conld step in where a trafiic policeman would fear to ; tread.

Personally, he had known very little about toheroas until Mr. Smith took them up, except that they were always in the soup, and were apparently a species of oyster with a lot of sex appeal. However, Mr. Smith evidently considered the beach dangerous, although his own experience had been that it was not so much beaches which were dangerous, as beach pyjamas. He understood that in the meantime, pending breaking either his neclc or a speed record, Mr. Smith had gone sword fishing. It had been well said by Mr. Zane Grey that the pen was mightier than the swordfish, so that something might still be heard of Mr. Smith. « * =!= He was pleased to learn Phar Lap had won the Aguascalientes handicap, which with a name like that, was certainly a serious one. This only went to show that there were still horses which could go out favourites and not return dead-beats. The action of Phar Lap's jockey in turning to see what had happened to the rest of the field, showed a pleasing solicitude and was in contrast to the attitude of his own jockeys, who never found it necessary to turn. :J: Daylight saving had now disappeared, and in that respect was like the majority of other savings. This mado things harder still, as what with the Economy Commission and one thing and another, nowadays, daylight was the only thing left to save. A lot of people seemed to be rather concerned about Mr. De Valera's attitude to the oath. He did not know which particular oath it was, but if it had anything to do with the Government, he could understand that there was likely to be a bit of unpleasantness. * ❖ # And talking of unpleasantness, he was reminded that it was time he went home. • » .