NEAR AND FAR

Rotorua Morning Post, Volume 1, Issue 149, 16 February 1932, Page 4

NEAR AND FAR

Profit on Income Tax "Sonie of these professors of economics who have been filling columns of the papers with explanations of the gold standard and exchange rates niight turn their attention to the problem facing many of us to-day — how to pay income tax for I&st year out of this year's income, when this year's income is practically nil," remarked a eountry settler to a pressman to-day. "I have just heard of a man whojs showing a profit on his income tax payment." What he did was to hava the telephone taken out of his house, which saved him about £7 "in rental, and he reckons to pay his income tax of about £3 out of what he saves on the telephone. !lf that sort of thing spreads, the Government may collect income tax payments, but it will lose heavily in other directions." Community System. "There is a tendency in Engfand to bring more and more hospitals under the community system the same as in New Zealand," said Dr. W. R. Fea, of Timaru, who was a passenger in the Marama which arrived from Sydney recently. Dr. Fea has been doing. post-graduate work in England and Scotland for the past twelve months. He remarked that the voluntary hospital system, although admirable in many ways, was finding it very hard to survive in cities in England other than London, and even there it was finding it difficult. There was also difficulty in the financing of hospitals in England at the present time. There was considerable feeling about the Irish sweepstakes taking money out of England to maintain hospitals in Ireland. With regard to provincial hospitals, there were many points in administration that New Zealand could teach England. In conclusion, Dr. Fea said that in Europe one met large numbers of New Zealand graduates, and the impression they made on the people was very gratifying. They were looked upon as sound, sober, and reliable men.

The Only One A good story was told recently in Sydney coUcerning the late Sir Henry Parkes. During a debate, an Opposition member was persistently heckling Sir Henry. At last, his patience exhausted, Sir Henry turned on his heckler and said: "The honourable member has been guilty of every crime in the Decalogue, except one." There was a pause for a moment, .and then the heckler foolishly said. "And may I ask what that one is ? " "Certainly," said Sir Henry in suave tones and bowing ironically to the member, "Suicide, unfortunately!" The heckler, overwhelmed hy roars of laughter, was silent for the rest of the sitting. Torpedo Pig. . A pig shaped like a cigar, with two j legs, is reported from Waterbuck, I South Africa. The "torpedo pig" J which is still alive and doing well, is ! shaped like a cigar in the rear por- j tions, with two legs and feet only in j front. To walk, it has to be tilted at ! an angle of 60 degrees, a position in f which it is able to make good pro- | gress. Unless assistance is given to the pig to rise to this position it can only roll along. The owner is stated to be considering the possibilities of fixing two wheels to the pig at the cigar end as an aid to loeomotion. An intere'sting feature of this freak is that it is a female pig, and efforts are to be made if the pig lives long enough, to reproduce the species. The Scotsman Won. An amusing story was told at the meeting of the R.S.A. in Taihape hy the chairman. A Jew and a Scotsman collided in motor cars in Aberdeen, and after a hot . altercation concerning responsibility, the Scotsman drew a bottle of whisky from a pocket in his Car, and pressed the Jew to have a big "supp." The Jew responded so well to this and further manifestations of generosity that he was soon fuddled. A policeman came up and asked what and who had caused the collision. Pointing to the fuddled Jew, the Scotsman said in tones of righteous indignation. "Smell his breath." Kea Soup. "You can have no idea how delicious kea soup is," said Mr. G. Lawn, who recently returned to his home at Christchurch after three weeks spent in prospecting near Murchison. "The birds are big and fat, and have to be boiled for at least twelve hours before they. are soft enough to eat. One old patriarch took us twenty-four hours to soften, but then ha yielded three good billies of soup. In the fresh mountain air it is necessary to have some sustaining food which will prornote warmth, and we found that kea soup was just the thing for this purpose." "Eat the Tin!" "Times are so bad that I am practically reduced to living on a tin of sardines. I should be grateful if you would kindly send me a cheque," wrote a Taihape business man at the foot of an account which he sent the other day to a district sheepfarmer. His surprise and amusement may be°imagined when he received the account by return mail, with the f ollowing addition to the footnote: "Will call and see you in a few days. Meantime, eat the tin!" Girl Golf Caddies. Girl caddies are most popular in France and Germany. In both counbries they are said to he polite, enthusiastic and attentive, and they ihanifest their gratitude for tips and fees. They do not take such a blase sriew of golfing life as boys, and they tnay be depended on not to be funny at the expense of the "rabbits" or other indifferent players. For many players the critical and stern eye of a caddie is often more disconcerting than that of a champion. To most Britishers it does not seem the thing to tiave a young and perhaps frail girl oarrying half a hundredweight of ilubs around the links — but they do not seem to mind in Europe.