NEAR AND FAR

Rotorua Morning Post, Volume 1, Issue 30, 28 September 1931, Page 2

NEAR AND FAR

Tale Telling A scientist has discovered that it is the lower part of the faee,; not the eyes, that gives 'away one's thOughts. But the philosopher got there first surely when he insinuated that silebce is golden. Hard Headed An 81b stone that fell 100 feet on to the head of a visitor to an English I seaside resort rebounded off and shat- ! tered to pieces withoufr harming the man. He ought to do well in politics. — "Dominion." The Modern Novel. A publisher says that the average good selling novel brings its writef less than a thousand dtfllars (£200 )*. A contemporary comments* that some of them ought to bring not iess'thah 30 days. Predestined. Maurice Pivar, the well known film supervisor, was telling a group of friends about his baby daughter. "Are you going to put her into piqturefe

when she grows upY" one of them asked. "No, I don't think so," replied Maurice. "I have a hunch that she's going to be a great politician." "What makes you think that?" "Well, she can say more things that sound good and mean nothing than any kid I ever saw." Heredity. Although Mr. J. Whalen is no longer Police Commissioner of New York, he has n'ot quite outgrown the speech-making habit, nor ' his thfc lustre of his loyalty to Manhattan dimmed. At a dfnner in Philadelphia recently, he took occasion to boost the New York school boy, layinjl stress on his educational advantages. Then he added: "How different from Chicago, where all that is required is that a boy follow in his father's finger-prints." Finished. Although General Butler is forever in hot water because he speaks righl out in meeting, he is none the less credited with being* an extremely capable military officer, with a caustic wit that was the terror of his subordinates. The story is told of some military maneuvres at which General Butler was one of the judges. He was observing a troop movement at one end of the field and his attention finally centred on a major connected with the General Staff. This major, as a strategist, was a decided failure and most of his orders were resulting in great confusion. Fnally he led his unit into the face of a supposedly murderous artillery fire that theoretically annihilated it. As General Butler watched him gallop along at the head of his column. he shouted: "Take your time, Major, you're galloping into retirement."

Helping. They put on Hamlet at the Hollywood Thespian Club, and a certain well known boulevard character attended, taking his small daughter along. It was after the second act that the little girl asked: "Daddy, is this all made up or was Mr. Hamlet a real man?" "Why I'm surprised at such a question!" exclaimed the father. "As soon as we get home, bring me the Bible and I'll tell you all about him." Partial Passengers. The Graf Zeppelin's goodwill passenger jaunt round England "is not the only fiight with drastic luggage restrictions. On the London-India air line, each voyager is allowed only 2211b — including himself — without any consideration for really outsize sahibs hastening home to their Asian harems. More ominous still is this regulation in the same service: "Ah. additional child or portion thereof will be charged full fare." Dumping Ground of the World. The fiight from economic national-

; ism, though within reasonable limits j a good thing, can be carried to the j point of mania, and this appears to | be oceurring in England at the prej sent time. Mr. Snowden and his sup- [ porters in both the Labour and Lij beral parties are forcing England to : travel a disastrous road. Already ! many British industries have been ofj fered up in homage to the free trade i idol, and England has become the dumping ground of the world. — Johannesburg Daiiy Mail. Dog's Bad Name. At Flemington one winter's day in peace serene the village lay; at Flemington ere blushed the morn the grass was strewn with bodies torn — "Alsations!" one in passing said. A passer-by the crime had seen — two airedales and a foxy mean he chased with rocks and drove away from where the victims twenty lay; he told the cop, but far ahead the other rumour ran and spread — "Alsatians!" said the villagers. The records of the C.I.B. were opened wide and properly a cop inscribed the truth, to read: Two villains of the Airedale breed and one small foxy fierce and sly

causea twenty luckless sheep to die;" but still the rumour harsh, unjust spread till it covered all earth's crust • Alsations!" sneered an Eskimo. And so, in all man's walks the same once give a dog a sliady name and he's as good as hanged, because it's one of nature's queerest laws that when an Airedale or a foxy commits a crime 'tis done by proxy — "Alsatians" always get the hlame.