BELIEVE IT OR NOT

Rotorua Morning Post, Volume 1, Issue 16, 11 September 1931, Page 5

BELIEVE IT OR NOT

RENDER UNTO CAESAR. When one of the J. C. Williamson manage-rs wandered into Leo Darnton's dressing-room during a matinee of "The Gondoliers" in Sydney, the aetor greeted him cheerily with the remark that they we-re having wonderful "houses." "Yes, thank God," said the manager, fervently. "And Gilbert," said Leo. HIS APOLOGY. Ramsay MacDonald says of the Labour Party in Britain that he was present at its birth and nursed it in infancy., Possibly he feels now, as did the late Thomas Fitzgerald, a famous Australian surgeon, when an occasion of his midwifery practice was recalled to him. A very pronounced young student, in a new batch to whom Dr. Fitzgerald was introdueed, smirked: "We have met before, Doctor." Fitzgerald was politely unable to recall it. "Oh, yes," pursued the student, unabashed, "you attended mother on an interesting occasion." "Ah!" said the Doctor, and turning to the rest of the class, "Gentlemen, I apologise." THE DEATH KNOCK. A story is going the rounds of a young clergyman who had been beaten badly on the links by an elderly business man who was one of the church fiock. They had returned to the clubhouse after the game, and the clerie still looked disgruntled wlmn the old fellow said, "Cheer up, padre, remember you win at the finish, you'll probably he burning me some day." "No doubt," replied the chagrined cleric, "and even then it will be your ole." DAWN OF A HOPELESS DAY. That brass-hats also have their chucklesome moments is shown by the way one of them has just let out a secret about brother-officer Birdwood's tour of Australia. Wheri that Gallipoli chief was staying at Government House, he kept up his athletic habit of doing a sprint around the Domain each day ere dawn's rosy fingers — and so on. Meeting a gaping dosser one bleak morn, "Birdy" cheerily chirped, "Come for a run." The warrior forthwith set the pace, but his chance companion somehow managed to keep within a panting coo-ee of that speedster. After a mile of such frantie following, the denizen of the Dom. halted thd astonished Government House guest with an aggrieved "Hey, where's this rum you asked me to come for?" A "BOLSHIE" CAR. Rev. Lionel B. Fletcher, of Auckland, who was the principal speaker at the recent Christian Endeavour Convention in Sydney, tells the following story: — "I met a man who was making some adjustments to his car, a model before the time of self-starters, and asked him to make of it. "Oh," he said, "it's a Bolshevik." "A Bolshevik?" I repeated. "Yes," he replied — "one crank and two revolutions." A GRIM THREAT. It is well known that some deepsea fish explode if sent too suddenly to the surface. That there is also a risk in being too promptly promoted is the- sad conviction of young Popson. About to be married to the most wonderful, etc., he plucked up courage to ask his office boss for a rise. He lcnew all about the great depression. He had even heard the heads, with wonderful originality, opining that "things might be worse before they were better." But, inspired by a great love, he manfully bearded the lion in his den and blurted his carefully conned request. "A rise," roared the lion. "If you don't get out of here instanter, I'll make you a partner — and then you won't get -.anything." WRONG ELECTORATE. The meeting was stormy and interjections were to the point; The speaker was fighting hard for replies when a big voice boomed from the back of the big crowd: "If you were the Angel Gabriel I wouldn't vote for you." "No," reurned the speaker, "you wouldn't be in my electorate." PHOTOGRAPHIC REPLY. His Honour Judge Mocatta, who retired from the Sydney Bench- last month, had a great fund of wit, and many a clever shaft passed between him and counsel. In a District Court case in & country town in the North, one of the defendants was a photographer, who visited the next town on eertain days of the week, and asked for an adjournment of the case in order to go that day to the other town on business. Opposing counsel scented an 3pportunity to be witty at his expense, and rose to say: "I suggest, your Honour, that the photographer's request be heard in camera." "I suppose so," replied his Honour, "iij order that the answer might be in the negative." LADIES FIRST! Sandy and Jean McMumbletshaw were paying a visit to the city, and after spending a morning sight-see-ing .they went into a restaurant and ordered lunch. After they had been attended to, the waitress noticed Sandy, sitting with his arms folded and his lunch still untouched. She hastily inquired if he needed anything. "Oh, no, girl," said Sandy; "I'm just waiting on the teeth. My wife is using them first to-day."