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Rotorua Morning Post, 28 August 1931, Page 4

"I must be going or miss my golf," Said Joe Stash and soon was off, He drove like vwind at seventythree, A hazard appeared; he struck a tree! Here lies buried within this hole , Our dear old Stasn, the golfing soul. Moral. You can't drive a car like a golf ball. Did You Know? Did you know that — The braking distance of a side-car outfit can, in an emergeney, be rednced hy swinging the handlebars froni one loclc as the brakes are ap"plied. When an engine cools mueh of the oil runs away from the cylinder and other bearings. . Therefore, if rapid wear is to be avoided, the engine should never he driven hard for the first minute or two. , Comfortable, th*in handlebar grins can he made from a pair of rubber grips used by racing pedal cyclists. The most advisable procedure to adopt when endeavouring to kick over a high-compression engine that is di'fficult to start is as follows: — Push the kick starter down until the compr.ession is felt; raise^ the exhaust valve, and push the pedal down another inch; after allowing the pedal to return to the top of its stroke, and re-^ leasing the valve lifter, give' one s-winging kick. Never bend handlebars cold, for they may thus he seriously weaken'pd, and may break off at an unfortunate moment. . Oil and grease affect rubber, (so should not be allowed to accumulate on the garage floor. A most usual cause of bad stearfng is faulty head bearings. If it is found diffieult to engage low gear no attempt should be made to force the gear in, for this may cause serious damage. The scheme is to ease the machine forward a few inches, or return to neutral, let the clutchr in momentarily and try again. When descending a steep, slippery hill, excellent progressive braking can be obtained by engaging low gear, and, with the throttle closed, raisihg the exhaust valve or compression release. The above practice should not, of course, be adopted with o.b.v. engines that have very high compression ratios, as there is danger of a valve f ouling the piston ' crown. When an engine is about to dry up there is generally a fussly feeling and a "woofley" noise; although they are only of a moment's duration, the wideawake rider can easily detect that, and declutch before the hack wheel locks. According to a promment English statistician, more fortunes 'have been made and lost in oil than in any other enterprise. Even so, Mr J. D. Rockfeller is still monarcb of oil he surveys. The motor scribe is fond of writing of the pleasures of the open road. It is noticeable that our county council gangs do their best to oblige him". There was once a pedestrian who thought he could cross tha road before a motor car. Now he knows for certain that he couldn't. A Wellington motor thief (ahem! "joyrider") has retired from business. He had stated severn! times that sucb was his intention, but this time the judge said it. A modern opportunist is the Scots garage proprietor who bought a baby car and then advertised charabanc trips. Whatever else may be said of that sapient old slogan, an apple a day won't buy the doetor's coupe. News item: "Henry Apricot took a ligbted match to see if there was any petrol in his tank. There was. He was 42 years of age." A simpleton is he who owns two cars and then walks in his sleep. Said the nervous beginner while taking a friend for a run: "Now, don't talk to me for a minute; there's a telegraph post coming towards us." That American wbo claims to have made the longest motor car in the world has another guess coming. Not long ago an Aucklander made a car so long that, driving home late the other week, he spent the wbole night on a hairpin bend sounding his horn and waiting for the other end of his nwn car to vet out of the way. Fact !