RUSTIC UMPIRES.

Rangitikei Advocate and Manawatu Argus, Volume XXXIV, Issue 9392, 12 March 1909, Page 3

RUSTIC UMPIRES.

In the ‘Leaves from an Old Cricketer’s Diary,” just republished from “Blackwood’s,” may be jfound pleasant tales of how the joyous and exhilarating game was played on village greens thirty and forty years ago. The especially valuable functionary was the umpire. In oldfashioned village cricket it was considered his business always to give his own side “in,” and the other side out.” Hence the semi-apology of an official who perseveringly gave not out” while a wicket-keeper, ball in hand, first knocked off the bails, next pulled up a stump ; but when, with an exasperated cry of “How’s that, then, you old idiot’” the wicket-keeper showered three stumps and two bails on the ground at the umpire’s feet, even this favourable judge felt it necessary to dismiss the batsman. “I’m sorry, Bill, my boy, but you’ll have to go now. I’ve give you two good obantses; but there, a nod's as good as a wink.to a blind horse!” Occasionally the choice of umpire was influenced by his fighting weight. At a village near Rugby some protest was made against a selection. “But does he know anything at all about the game?” “Well,” said the local secretary, “I ain!t a-going to say as he’s quite what you’d call a Lillywhite’s "guide, like; but he’s uncommon handy with his fists, and we most in general counts on meeting some roughish customers.” If more peaceful ideas prevailed, [the choice might fall on the parson, the churchwarden, or the parish clerk, all-round respectability ranking higher than any intimate acquaintance with the niceties of the task. “But,” pleaded a gentleman invited to act as umpire in a rustic match, “I know so very little about the rules, and, besides, I am so very short-sighted.” “Oh! sir, that don’t matter not a rap, ’’ was the encouraging answer “Him as is going to stand at t’other end ain’t got but one eye, and he don’t know nothing at all.” And we hear of one Whit Monday match, when two parish clerks came forth at once to guide the fray, bnnnoiating “Hout” in precisely the same tone that led £he ‘ Amen” on Sunday, and prepared to admonish recalcitrant batsmen with the long white wand used for repping the heads of unruly or sleepy boys in church. The native umpiring in Ireland is stated to have combined impartiality “with a cheerful indifference to fates and criticism;” but was” a gentleman hailing from Cork who himself anticipated the; umpire’s verdict. He had received what the bowler meant as a straight yorker on the end of his boot. “How’s that?” cried bowler and wicket-keeper. “Mighty painful, if it’s me you’re asking. You’ve kilt the tow of me entirely!” Dropping his bat, he nursed his toe in anguish till the soft-hearted official .pronounced a lenient view of the transaction, upon which the cripple - promptly recovered to run like a hare and compile an excellent score.