KAISER STORIES.

Rangitikei Advocate and Manawatu Argus, Volume XXXIV, Issue 9352, 22 January 1909, Page 2

KAISER STORIES.

SOME ANECDOTES ABOUT THE MAN WHO STARTLES EUROPE.

That'sooner or later the German Emperor would veutute into the domain of poetry, as he ' connection with most oi the other arts, was fairly certain. He aid, and then invited a leading literary light to dinner—and to express an opinion on the meritsi of the completed poem! Between loyalty and truthfulness there is often a great Slf. and for some time the unwiily oritio hesitated between the two. Then he thought he saw a line of retreat. “This verse, your Majesty, seems to require alteration in certain respects,” he said. The Royal author studied the effusion closely for a few minutes, and then he understood. “Why,** he cried, ‘I have actually not signed the poem I Give me a pen!” And in a moment the only defect had been remedied. IN DISGUISE.

With ,a wonderful capacity for mastering details, Kaiser is ever ready to tackle them When necessary. Certain road repairs and alterations had been recommended to him, in order to cope with increasing traffic. Promising to give the matter his attention, he later enveloped himself in a hnge coat Jand common-looking cap, and thns JdisgnisedJalipped out unobserved. the scene of the suggested alterations, he hung about for an hour, closely observing all , that passed. Returning as secretly as he went, he sent for the officials concerned, and merely remarked, “Carry out those recommendations.” , Z “THAT’S THE WAY!” Crossing the deck of the Royal yacht with a large mng of beer in his hand, one of the sailors was startled by the sudden appearance of his Royal master. He made a most clumsy attempt to salute with his free hand, while his anxiety to prevent the beer spilling amused his Majesty. “Look here,” said the latter, "you didn’t do that right; let me show you how it ought to be done.” Telling the man to fancy that he was the Emperor, who was to be saluted, the Kaiser took the mng, and retreated a few paces. Then, coming forward again, stopping opposite 'to the sailor, he held the mng to his lips, drained it, set it down on the deck, and gave the salute with military precision. “That’s the way to do it,” he remarked to the astonished seaman. “Now go downstairs, and tell them to fill the mug up again’, and give you one for yourself. Say it was I who drank it.” NO PIED PIPSE.

A bevy of beautiful school girls were drawn up outside the station of Hameiin on the occasion of the Kaiser’s visit to the historic town. Having graciously received a bouquet of flowers proffered, he surveyed the children very much as he would a regiment of soldiers. Tuen, smiling at them, he said: “I don’t believe there can ever have been a Pied Piper, or there would never have been so many pretty girls left in Hameiin. ” AFTER TWO YEARS.

At the time that the big liner, Furst Bismarck, was completed, the Kaiser, accompanied by Prince Henry of Prussia, made a thorough inspection of the fine vessel. He expressed his approval of everything, until he reached the dining-room. Turning to the captain, and.?pointing to the tables, he observed; “Ishould think a man who had been at sea so long as yon have would not fallow a cabinetmaker to give you squarecornered tables on shipboard.” It was only natural that the table corners should be quickly rounded after his departure. Two years later he again inspected the ship. In the dining-room he smiled broadly. ‘‘l see you rounded off the corners. That’s good.” SERGEANT ON THE SPOT.

While out alone, the Kaiser approached the Berlin barracks, where the corporal on duty at once recognised him. Pleased with the smartness of the man’s salute, the Kaiser walked up to him and remarked :“ Why do you look so sad, corporal?” No reply being vouchsafed, the Emperor went on : “Disappointed in love, eh?” The corpoial then confessed that beloved the daughter of .bis ;sergeant-major, who, however, would not permit them to marry until he became a sergeant. “And do you love her very much?” “Oh, yes!” was the feeling response. “Then tell your future father-in-law that William 11. makes you a sergeant!” When the corporal went off duty he found the insignia of his new rank lying on hia bed.

BEATING THE BRITISH NAVY. Asa British admiral, the Kaiser is rather proud of his right to board British men-of-war, and, after his appointment to the rank, he took the first opportunity of exercising it. With a full train of officers in his wake, he visited every part of the vessel, even entering the sick quarters. Here he noticed a queerlooking plant, and at once inquired its name. The admiral addressed was lost for a reply. His botanical education had been sadly neglected. The question was asked from officer to officer, while the Kaiser waited with a look as if the fate of the world depended on :the answer. At last he bad to be told that nobody knew the plant’s name. Bursting into a laugh, the Emperor exclaimed: "Hurrah! At last I’ve found something that the British Navy doesn’t know 1” SO MODEST I Sitting with his suite one evening, the Emperor drew out a cigar, ana looked round for a cutter. One of the gentlemen in attendance hastily held out his penknife. The Kaiser took it, cut bis cigar, and then, as he returned the knife, solemnly remarked: ‘‘Keep it and guard it well. One of these days it will be historic.” AN ACT OF CLEMENCY. An Alsatian, rather than serve in the German Army, crossed the borders, and entered the ranks of the French. By dint of hard work, he rose to be a cantain, and served with distinction in the China Expedition. In the coarse of this campaign ho saved the lives of two German officers, to whom he expressed his sorrow that he could never again visit his native land, although lie would much like to see his aged parent. Out of gratitude, the officers succeeded in getting the facts laid before the Emperor, who not only granted the manpermisison to return home, but gave orders that the sum of money confiscated when he deserted should be returned to him. REPROVING THE PRINCES. It was not often that the Emperor

had to reprove his sons for unseemly conduct; but, after all, princes are only human. After one outrageous display of unruliness, he called them before him, where they stood at attention. “Never forget,” he said, in his most solemni tones—“never forget that you are Hohenzollerns, and sons of the Kaiser of Germany! But you”—and here he turned fiercely on one of them —“just remember that I have my eye on you!” FROM ONE WHO KNEW. ____ During a rehearsal in the Jtsenm Opera House, the manager had some difficulty in arranging a certain Slavonic dance. His views did not agree with those of the others present, and for a moment things were at a standstill. Suddenly, from the dark auditorium, came a voice, full of authority, describing the dance as performed in Hungary, and giving instructions as to "the way it should be done. The speaker proceeded to give hints to the orchestra, as well as to the dancers. Observing their astonishment, he wound up with: ‘ Yes, you may stare at me, but it is so!” It was the Kaiser. ]’ TOLD OUT OF SCHOOL. Happening to see a ooanle’of members of his suite laughing boisterously oyer a story of some kind, the Emperor inquired what it was. He then learned that it related to a schoolmaster in Berlin, who had set his pupils a lesson to write on l“What ideas of the different Hohenzolleru Sovereigns are to be gathered from their legs in the statues of them,” At once the Kaiser telegraphed £to the Minister of Education, commanding him to secure as many of the essays as possible. Before long he was in possession of three, one of which concluded with the remark that a better estimate of character could he formed from the faces than from the legs. “Sensible boy!” was the Kaiser’s comment, as he wrote across it: “Consider this the most suitable condemnation of the theme. —Wilhelm II.” The lad prizes that, essay, which was duly returned to him. AS GRACEFUL AS GALLA NT. A young and very pretty Danish girl gave a very finished violin performance at a Court conceit, and the Kaiser could not refrain from expressing his appreciation. “You play the violin admirably! he said. “ When I listen to you with my eyes closed, 1 think I am hearing Sarasate—and yet I prefer to keep my eyes open.'!”