MISCELLANEOUS.

Rangitikei Advocate and Manawatu Argus, Volume XXXIV, Issue 9340, 8 January 1909, Page 7

MISCELLANEOUS.

A syndicate has been formed at New York to supply sermons at two guineas per annum—average a sbil ling per Sunday ! “Is the baby strong?” “Well, rather. You know what a tremendous voice he has?' ’ “ Yes. *’ “ Well, he lifts that five or six times an hour.” Wrigges: “I hear Jenks has been very ill. Is he out of danger yet?” Waggles Well, he’s convalescent; but he won’t be out of danger until that pretty nurse who has been taking care of him has gone away. ” Important Patron (after describing the great advantages now enjoyed by children ): “I wish I were you children at school.” Pause; then, ingratiatingly, “Why do I wish this?” Boy; “Please, “ sir, ’cos you-ve forgot all you ever knowed. ” Mr Foolish : “Why are sheep the most dissipated animals?” Mr Billy: “Because they'gambol all their lives, and spend most of their time on the turf, many of them are black-legs, and all are fleeced in the end.” First Boy: “Your father' must be an awful man. Him ||a shoemaker, and makin’ you wear them ola boots.” Second Boy:'“He’s nothin’ to what your father is. Him a dentist, and your baby only got one tooth 1” “What a grasping fellow you are, Hawkins 1 You’ve bothered me about this bill fifty times in ten days.” “You wrong me, Janley. I’m hot grasping. I’ve bothered you about the bill, I admit, but I haven’t been able to grasp anything yet.” “Aad do you doubt my love?” he asked, passionately. No, Samuel,” she answered, with admirable tact; “but when you say that the day you call me yours will usher in an era of lifelong devotion and tender solicitude, you—pardon me, dear—you put it on a trifle too thick. Yon seem to forget, Samuel, that I am a widow.” Dr. Paul Berger, an eminent surgeon, while performing an operation at the Neoker Hospital the other day, was stricken with apoplexy. He had the operating knife in his hand at the moment and as he fell unconscious the patient, who was under chloroform, narrowly escaped receiving a fatal wonnd. “Mr Babkins,” said the proud father, shaking the young man warmly by the hand, “let me tell yon that yon are a man after my own heart.” “Oh. no, sir,” protested the blushing suitor, “I’m after your daughter’s.” You will pay just as much for a bottle of Chamberlain’s Cough Remedy as for any of the other medicines, but yon save money in buying it. The saving is in what oyn get, not what, yo 3 pay. The sure-to-cnre yon quality is in every bottle of this remedy, and you get good results when you take it. Buying cough medicine is an important matter. Neglected colds often develop serious conditions, and when you buy a cough medicine you want to be sure you are getting one that will cure yonr cold; When you Shay hOamberlain’s Oough Remedy you take nq chances. It always cures. For sale everywhere.