STORYETTES.

Rangitikei Advocate and Manawatu Argus, Volume XXXIV, Issue 9167, 10 June 1908, Page 7

STORYETTES.

"HE WILD WEST. ;• [ v . tary Taft, of the United . g :—I was once a guest at t. a small Western town. 7 v . cned to a room. There v.■ er nor towels in the room, ■!., ■ ■ ■■;, says the Secretary. . o reply. I rang again, • • a I rang; and finally a ;f : - -red. This was a robust ... r >f stern and forbidding aspect-, ... ‘Did you ring?” he said in a rumbling' bass voice. “I did,” I answered. “Weil, don’t do it again,” said the waiter with a menacing scowl as lie withdrew. DUE NOTICE. ‘‘Since it is all over between us, Miss Berkeuhead,” said the young man. pale bat calm, ‘‘l am compelled to ask for the letnrn of the numerous and costly presents I have r" ven vmi during the last six months under the mistaken idea that I was , our accepted lover and you were my affianced wafo. ’’ “No, Henry,’’she answered, “you can’t claim them. All you can do is to give me the necessary sixty days’ notice. By that time—er—perhaps confidence will be restored.” SOMETHING LIKE A SERMON. The Bishop of London’s humour, says the Boston Transcript,, made him many friends in America. “Tne Bishop amused me. ” said a clergyman at a dinner of divines in New York. “We parsons are a modest lot, but occasionally our selfrestraint gets the better of us, and then we brag and boast, and make ourselves ridiculous. “A Boston divine at this dinner got to telling us about a begging sermon lie had recently preached. “ ‘I don’t wish to brag or boast,’ he began, ‘nor would I have you think me conceited, but, gentlemen, I assure you—’ ~,,,, “ And then at great length he told ns how women had wept at his begging sermon’s pathos, men had emitted hoarse sobs, and in an avalanche the contributions had poured in-gold and greenbacks, cheques, even jewels, and watches, and great heaps “But here the Bishop of London leaned forward with a twinkle in his ©ye* “ ‘ By the way, brother,’ he said, * could you lend me that sermon V* ” HIS SLEEPLESS NIGHT. “What is the matter?” asked a friend of the man with the tired look. “Matter 1” was the reply. “Why, didn’t have a wink of sleep last night. The Wilkins’ cat howled for three hours, and then I got up and threw a lump of coal at it.” “Did you hit it?” “No, I hit Wilkins, who had just come out to let the cat in the house. ” “Well, that was surelyj satisfactory?’ ’ “For a minute it was. Then "Wilkins returned the coal through our drawing room window.” But there was worse to come.” “Yes!” “He went into the house, and left the cat still howling. ”