“A GIRL WANTED THERE.”

Rangitikei Advocate and Manawatu Argus, Volume XXXIII, Issue 9112, 3 April 1908, Page 7

“A GIRL WANTED THERE.”

ROMANCE IN QUIOK-TIME IN IRISH WORKHOUSE.

Hilarity reigned in the Kilmalook Union Boardroom, Limerick, as the outcome of an application received by the Guardians from a man giving an address in Oharleville to the following effect : “I request the Board of Guardians to provide me with a wife out of the house. I will be present myself before the Board.” A man of about 25 years of age was called before the Board and said that he wrote the letter. He added that he had no home, but was looking out for one. Chairman (Mr P. Hayes): Where will you carry the wife if we give her to you? Applicant : I don’t want a home until I get the wife. (Laughter.) I’d go to lodgings for a night. (Renewed laughter.) Chairman: Do you belong to the Lazy Society in Oharleville —the society with hands in the pockets and backs to the walls of the houses. (Laughter.) Applicant said that he didn’t belong to it. He had £3. Chairman: Which would you rather haVe, a single woman or one with two or three children? (Laughter.) Applicant: I don’t care which. (More laughter.) The Chairman suggested, amid renewed laughter, that the master should take applicant to the house and show him the women. The Master: He must put down the money before I go anywhere with him. (Laughter.) Mr Murphy (a guardian): He can’t buy a pig in a poke. (More laughter.) (To applicant): Which would you prefer, the money or the girl? (Laughter.) Applicant: I’d -prefer the girl. (Roars of laughter.) Applicant then turned his back to the guardians, and passed some notes to the clerk, who counted them and said : “I thought you said you had three. ’ ’ Applicant said he also had silver. The Clerk: Keep that at present. This is only a retainer. (Laughter.) The master, Mr Murphy, and applicant then left the room for the purpose of selecting a wife for the last-named. They proceeded to the hall of the house, where a number of women were assembled. On returning to the boardroom Mr Murphy said; ‘‘ It is settled. (Laughter.) A girl has consented and the money is to be held by the clerk until she goes [out. She would go now, but [she asked permission of the master to eat her dinner.” (Laughter.) Mr O’Sullivan (assistant clerk) : You were not long making the match. (Laughter.) Mr Murphy: It was a dry one. (More laughter.) Applicant’s money was returned to him, and he was told to get a certificate from the priest as a preliminary to the marriage. The clerk suggested that applicant should defer the happy event for a week,' but the man replied, amid great merriment —‘‘It is not possible that I could. I*ll come down to-morrow.” Mr Murphy: Do, but go up now, and have a chat with her before you go. (Continued laughter.)