Page 1 Advertisements Column 3

Rangitikei Advocate and Manawatu Argus, Volume XXXII, Issue 8909, 31 August 1907, Page 1

rjpHERE IS NOTHING— So good for the family as LAUGHING. A PHONOGRAPH Is able to furbish good hearty wholesome fun if purchased from “THE P££ONS&IWB.” (Opposite Hallway Platform), Main Street. PALMERSTON IST’ EH. HcSGKALS, Como aucl hear one. "Wo suooialiso Sd'HJSIC. : "WiH urn asaas COT Mattresses, G/6, 7/0 to 10/0 Single 12/6, 10/0, 1-1/0 J, 18/G and 20/Full size, 22/0 and 21/6 Blinds made up on premises. SAR33ER & SARSBEB, DRAPERS (next Clausen’s), PALMERSTON NORTH. TNTEENATIONAL CORKES' -a- PONDENCE SCHOOLS.

"We teach wherever the mails roach, and qualify for any of the following positions : Bookkeeper Civil Engineer Stenographer Mechanical Eugin’r Advertiser Electrical Engineer Show Card Writer Stationary Engineer Window Trimmer plumber Designer Architecture Illustrator Building Contractor Surveyor Draftsman Sign Pain for Teacher "Write to-dav. It costs nothing to inquire. A. J. IIICiiAPD; District Agent, Church Street, Palmerston i-Torth. MARK TWA I.'ll AT LUNCH.

Thor 6 was a disturbing clement at the luncheon-table of the Ritz Hotel recently (says a recent London Daily Mail). Life runs very smoothly in that caravauscria. The great ones of the earth come in to lunch and oat just like ordinary folk, ami when a Sorouc Highness or so is pointed out people either yawn or say, ‘ ‘ The fat man on the right or the little one on tiic loft!”’ -But the Ritz lunchors ate with one eye upon a'table whore, together with two ladies, a gentleman wit'n bushy white hair spoke slowly with his companions. Somebody said, “That’s Mark Twain,” and'it was the sight of the whits hair and the sad face that brought homo the fact that ‘ humour-making is hard work. There was expectancy in their scrutiny. What would Mark Twain do? Ho pur his hand in his pocket. Suppressed excitement—but it was his handkerchief, and not the celebrated Jumping Ifrog. ho produced. Everybody wanted to laugh ; everybody was prepared to*laugh; but Mark Twain was disappointing. Ho did nothing—except eat. He did not even choke. There arc four clairvoyants and three palmists on his track. They promenade Dover-street singly, and pretend not to notice one another. Years ago a palmist told him he would die in a foreign land and the end was near, and that is why he is hurrying pou the funeral arrangements, It lias been blazoned forth in the press that Mark Twain is preparing his funeral because of the prediction. Yow there have come forward these seven occult scientists, who are prepared, for the honour of this country, to predict that so far from dying in a foreign laud he will live for years and die peaceably on the Mississippi, with a little Eva cliorus’aud his faithful retainer shaking with huge sobs. It is an open secret that Mark Twain docs not wish to see the optimistic palmists. Ho refers to them bitterly as rubbernecks who are meddling with His most sacred feelings. The arrangements for the funeral will go on, and tiie police have orders to take into custody any person professing to apse tj the programme.

THE ONLY CURE. To euro a Cold When you have no cough ; To euro a Cough When you have no Cold ; To euro Yourself When you have both ; Take Dr. Sheldon’s New Discovery For Coughs, Colds, And Consumption. Take no substitute. Obtainable at all stores, Marton, and Ellis Bros., Huutorvillo. Two Hundred Honeycomb and Satin Quilts for single, threoquarter and double beds, slightly soiled, half price at McEldownoy’s Sale. Frilled Cushions worth 4s; sale price Is lid at McEldownoy’s. It’s Famous Because It’s Good.” LANE’S EM ! iJ r ST ON, the Great Lung iicaler and Body Builder. It was first made good. Cod Liver Oil, Beechwood Creasote, Hypophosphites of Lime and Soda. The purest of these ingredients emulsified with the freshest of fresh eggs. Medicine and Food perfectly combined. The people made it famous. Famous in every town and hamlet in New Zealand. Men, Women and Children have made. ■«<

their chosen remedy for Coughs, Colds, Weak Lungs, and Weak Nerves. It helps digestion and strengthens every part and portion of the body. For the growing child or the aged parent there is no medicine of such value as LANE’S EMULSION. Buy it and try it to-day. Two sizes 2/6 and 4/6. Chemists and Stores. Take none but LANE’S.