ADVICE TO YOUNG HUSBANDS.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 9, Issue 578, 26 October 1920, Page 1

ADVICE TO YOUNG HUSBANDS.

(By January Mortimer). Eight young men in every ten imagine that they are wholly competent in deciphering that "phosproresscent hieroglyph the maiden." The other two are dubious and self-dis-trustful. They recognise fundamental emotional and mental differences in the two sexes and appreciate the fact "that men and women do not view life and human nature from exactly the same angle. Almost universally women regard men as awkward, over-grown boys, and .men look upon women as somewhat refractory, but engaging, children. The inexperienced husband has much to learn, and the more certain he is concerning the ability for "managing" his wife, the greater the menace of failure. A wise man is humble regarding his knowledge of the feminine soul. The young married man is most frequently solicitous for the happiness of his bride. Nevertheless, _he makes mistakes, and often suffers bewilderment at the alleged unreasonableness of his partner. He may have an indulgent, doting mother who has habitually humoured and petted him. In his ignorance he supposes that his wife will behave towards him as his fond mother behaved. He may be compelled to undergo a complete re-education concerning the relation of men and women. Unconsciously he may annoy his bride from the outset of the honeymoon by petty selfishness. At first she may refrain from pointing out the thoughtless acts that vex her. But one day, when her nerves are tired, she may utter her first caustic reproach. To a sensitive man this is a painful moment. He cannot conjecture what he has done, or left undone, to merit such sarcasm. It may be that he has scattered cigarette ash on the clean tablecloth, or unthinkingly seated himself in the most comfortable chair. If he is hot-tempered as well as sensitive—and the two traits are usually found in conjunction—he will retort sharply to the sting. In a wordy contest with a woman the greater number of men are puny combatants. If he is silent his wife will think him a sulker. If he flies into a rage, she will defend her conduct, and add to her first indictment.

The advice that I tender is not my own. It is more valuable than any counsel that I could offer. Two women whom I respect most profoundly have assured me in all sincerity that we men are much too literal in our acceptance of what a woman says when .she is irritated. The young husband should know that it is human to exaggerate under vexation, and that this human tendency is rather stronger in women than in men. Possibly most women cannot help saying more than they mean when suffering from irritation. Let the untried husband bear this in mind from the wedding day onwards. Let him also remember that the woman who is able to denounce his faults is the one who is capable of appreciati ing his merits, and defending him against the whole world.