SOME GOOD STORIES

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 9, Issue 545, 2 July 1920, Page 2

SOME GOOD STORIES

AND A FEW REMINISCENCES. Many amusing reminiscences ah< stories were told at the return® soldiers' "smoko,". given in hopou of General Sir William Birdwdod ii Christchurch., .••• Colonel R. tYgung, C.8., C3MI D.5.0., who ojs&rpied the chair, % the ball rolling" by reminding « General of an incident which Ittd oc curred on Gallipoli. Coming dowi a sap leading from Monash Gully, tiu ■Getlertl, followed by Colonrt Young came'across an infantryman dresse< in tl>e uniform of the period—a hat pair of "shorts" and boots. In each water, and over his shoulder two sandbpgs of. rations. He was "all done in." As he approached, the General dreW on one side, and remarked. "Well, lad, how are things The infantryman never praised nil head or took the sli:rhtesj~notice, butj as he passed the laconiciM remaykei|,--- -, I '^hink_^^^^^^tei--? General only reniarke'^BH^^iing, The Starting Point, t j One naturally leads to J«ther, *nd General Birdwood previous one by recalling jjffigncqßnter with a "digger," a hill at Gallipoli, bearing a heavy jar of water. "Hello!" remarked the Geneial, "that'.s a devilishly heavy loa<| you are carrying." "Yes,." was reply, "but it wouldn't be half,.Jo heavy if it were rum!" "I argued with him that there would be oo difference in weight between a jar of rum and a jar of water, saiit%th% General, "and after some tShe, he agreed that the rum would bg the same weight -&3 the water —at. th# time of starting!". A 'Ero. a little village called Lain irt France," continued the Gc*»«tol, "I once saw an 'Aussie' just a little bit drunk--not beastly drunk, but quite nicely drunk —and he came across a little dog which snarled and attempted to bite him. jMore in sorrow than in anger, the Aussie apostrophised -riVre dog as follows: "Ah! You wouldn't gcf fer to bite-a ——. 'ero, would you?"

"I did not notice any anti-British feeling in California," states Mr. P. F. Haggitt, of Feilding, who has returned from a trip to the United States. "The chief complaint of Americans seemed to be that thdyv received very little assistance from the Allies in winning the war."—Ma-| nawatu Standard.

Tail of a near tragedy from Foxton Herald: "It is rumoured that local sports went duck shootii:g recently..; They landed on a small island, aim after partaking of sundry refresh* * ments to keep out the cold, waited - for the ducks, and in the meantime j fell into a state of somnolence. The island was the resort of numerous water rats. Awakening, one of the party noticed a water rat on the arm of one of his companions, and stealthily seizine his gun, let flv at the rodent. Botn sleeper and rodent had a narrow escape.

A characteristic story was told by General Bird wood in Christchurcn, when addressing the boys at Christ's College. Describing an incident daring the sudden German offensive in March, 1918, he said: On a round of inspection he found that the guns of one British howitzer battery were being shelled out of position. The Germans had the range. The men did not have their tails down, but things were certainly uncomfortable. Then sixteen big German Gothas passed overhead on a flying raid. Presently one of the Gothas dropped back, and almost at once a British/ single-seater came straight at it low down. There was a brief fight, and the German machine caught fire and fell in pieces. A British gunner looked up as the whir of the bullets ended, and said quietly, "Well, perhaps we are winning the war after all." Continuing, General Birdwood said that this showed what could be done by one flying man, a boy straight from school, to set an example to a whole army.

A Hamilton Borough Councillor was awakened at an early hour the ether morning by an irate resident (reports the Waikato Times). Upon going to the door he was met by the query, "Do you know mv house >s under water?" The councillor synv pathisinglv replied in the negative,-? "You are a oorough councillor, -fun«. jou?" The councillor admitted~4jiat , he occupied that exalted position but pointed out that he was not thereby endowed with control over the elements, and that under the cir cumstuices he could do nothing* to relieve the position, especially at the hour of 4 a.m. The resident left, evidently thinking that he had a grievance against the councillor, ana the councillor returned to bed convinced that a seat at the council table is fraught with some draw- - backs, not the least of which is ing to with the menaces considerate and irate electorship jSa