"ANONYMOUS"

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 8, Issue 490, 15 July 1919, Page 2

"ANONYMOUS"

Oh Cecil! What's it all. about ? Your foil you've drawn on one of us; You'd like to " pink " poor A.H.L. Because he is anonymous. I know it maks one very w'ld When one cannot hit back at him; One stands with mud in either hand, Yet cannot get a slap at him. For all one knows, one's dearest friend Is trying to get' the wind up ' one While up the asses tree, Which he has so 1 his mind upon. Or then ag&iu one's bitter foe —Although he's not afraid of us— May wish to get what's called " one's goat," And so doth make a raid on us.

The mongrel that's thoroughbred Is sure ' some curiosity;' To say that mongrel is oneself Would raise one's animosity. To hit the punch ball's very fine, The ass would make a job of it If climbing trees he'd leave aloue, And with his heels he'd lob at it.

The Pot once called the Kettle black (Some more offensive diatribe) Bocause he couldn't see himself All sooty by the fireside. The kettle used no nom de plume, We all know who the kettle is; The pot it is anonymous, We know not what it's metal is, It may have been for jam or soup, The one we boil the porridge in— But, anyhow! As Cecil says, It surely made a horrid din. But, if we knew the kind of pot, We'd surely let it sing away — We'd simply say " the pot is cracked," And that would take tha sting away.

When reading something in the Times, % And not knowing who the writer is, We say " He's put it pretty strong; I wonder who the blighter is? " But, if we see it signed "John Smith," We say "Poor John—his liver's wrong; I thought the fellow'd better sease ; I hate surh fools to live among."

So, Cecil, you must understand A nnm de plume it's uses has ; So, take your pen, and send along A page more of abuses, lad. And now my pifHe I must cease, Or I'm afraid the Editor Will say " your jingle's silly rot, I haven't eveu read it, Sir:" I am not going to sign my name, For that would give the show away; But when I call a spade a spade, My noui deplume I'll throw away. -RIP VAN WINKLE.