THE "ROUND TABLE" IN GERMANY.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 7, Issue 418, 15 October 1918, Page 3

THE "ROUND TABLE" IN GERMANY.

(Written specially for the Times

Scejji : A room in a castle in one of the Rhine towns. Characters : THE KAIBEB. LITTLE WILLIE, PRINCE MAXIMILLIAN OP BAVARIA, HINDENBURG, LUDENDORF, and VON TIRPITZ.

The Kaiser : Well, Prince, I am afraid our Peace Note looks like being a failure. Maximilliax ; I'm afraid it does, Your Majesty. Who would have thought that thick-headed Wilson would have seen through it ? What a disappointment that man is. When he used to send us Notes of his own I thought we could have fooled him into anything. Those cursed English must have been putting him up to things. The Kaiser: At all events our influenza scheme is working well. Maximillian : Our influenza scheme ? Your influenza scheme if you please, your Majesty. We Bavarians fight like gentlemen, not like you Prussians. Hindznbubg : Yes, and you run away or surrender like gentlemen too. I fupposo The Kaiser (interrupting him): That will do Marshall, we must not quarrel. Prince, let me tell you that I believe our success in disseminating influenza germs in enemy countries is a sure sign that God is still on our side. Ludendorf : You had better have left it alone, All-Highest. I have 200,000 cases among my army. The Kaiser (carelessly): Yes, I believe a few bottles of the germs got broken accidentally. But after all, Marshall, what does it matter ? If your men had not been in hospital, Foch would have killed them or taken them prisoners. Ah! Marshall, jou are no match for that old fox.

Ludendobf (warmly): I should be, if be would fight fair, bat I never know what he is going to do next He strikes now here, now there, all along the line. The Kaiser : And always takes you by surprise eh ? Ludendorf, you are a booby. Hlndenburg: I am sure Ludendorf does his best, Sire, and so do I.

The Kaiser: Poor old Hindenburg. Tou were a good man once, but that's a long time ago. I wish I had kppt. Falkenhayn and Mackensen by me. If they had promised to get to Paris they would have got there.

Hindenburg : I did get to Paris The Kaisxr : Yes, so you say Dressed up as an old woman, I be lieve. But gentlemen let us stop al

this and get to business. What are we to do now ? The Americans are coming in very fast. Little Willie : But, Papa, you said they did not know how to fight. Ludendorf, (spitefully) : Yes and he said the English did not know how to fight. Maximillian : Perhaps your Majesty had better offer to give up Alsace and Lorraine.

The Kaiser : Prince, you do not know what you are talking of The Almighty has entrusted me with the protection of Alsace and Lorraine, and as His friend and partner of many years' standing I do not intend to break with Him—at all events not before we have won the war

Little Willie : Well, Papa, what are we to do ?

VonTirhtz: Will your Majesty isten to me ?

The Kaiseb : No, old forkedbeard. 1 listened to you for too long You were going to bring England to her knees in six months with your submarines. You were going to destroy the English battlefleet off Jutland ; and four cruisers sank six of your best ships and chased the rest home, shot half to ragn.

LnrLE Willie (cheerfully) : Well, we'vo got the Kriemhild line left That's impregnable, anyhow. The Kaiser : Hindenburg said all the lines were impregnable. Hindexbubo: So they were, your Majesty, but these fools of English don't understand what impregnable means.

Maximiixian : Beriously, I have strong hopes of the Kriemhild line. She really was a German you know, not like your imported Wotans and Seigfrieds. The Kaiser : Nonsense, of course they were Germans too. All really great men turn out to have been Germans. You mark my words If Foch wins this war it will shortly be discovered that he is a German also.

Little Willie : Oh, Papa, do you think he is going to win ? The Kaiser: Of course not, my *-ou God would never permit it, for that would mean that the Hohen-

zollern family would no longer be he over-lords of the Universe.

Well, my friends, I must go and asi-ure my brave t-oldiers once morn that God is preparing victory for us ; and you, Prince, had better send out another peace note at once.