HUMOUR GLEAMINGS.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 6, Issue 284, 15 June 1917, Page 3 (Supplement)

HUMOUR GLEAMINGS.

Mother: "Why don't you yawn when lie stays 100 long)' He'll tnlce the hint and go. - ' Daughter : "I did, and he told me what beautiful teeth I had."

"Doctor, said Mr. Blues, "my insomnia is much worse now than it ever was before." •'lndeed," repled the M.D. "Yes, sir, it is. Why, I can't even slt*ep when it's time to get up!"

" Fancy old Bill, of all people, going into the gunpowder shed with a lighted candle!" remarked the proprietor oS rn explosive factory to his foreman. " I should have thought that would be the last thing he'd do" "Which, properly speak in', it were, sir!" responded the foreman.

At a cricket match a young fellow had the misfortune to get several of hi? teeth, broken whilst playing against a fast bowler. In the return fixture the. young man was again frc n? the bowler; but ere the hall was delivered he shouted across the wicket, "Hey. mate. I ]:o]x> you're not after my teeth again." "No, lad," (ame the quick reply: "it', your -tumps I'm after this t'me. ' Constant companionship -train? friendship. CRUEL LONDON". He was an artist, and the humdrun: lifo in tli? batcher's .-hop vexed hif= noble spirit. Somehow, selling scrag of mutt* n and tne bef-t end of the neck was not appreciated by his artistic temperament. and he went to London, where talent, is.recognised and paid for —sometimes. For a time he wrote glowing letter* hom\ Then there came odence. "Sikvcs-," reflected bis sorrowing parents', "lias been too much for him. He has forgotten us. Alan! alas! But he hadn't, for one evening, just as bis father was -i:t : ng down to suppei and preparing to enjoy h s humble chop, a -mall U>v brought a note. "Dear dad." it read, plea.se meet me. |,y the old br'dge : .t midnight, and bring a wa'stcoat. .:nd a jacket. I have a Int.—John."

hAME MISTAKE. 1, ■ Mary .Io!i> «a., toncl oi tilts, and th is la 'lug gave hor mot.'iee nun h worry. Cuming m olio clay, Marv startled hct mother hy inform i;g hor that- there «as - ta^illl ill.' garden. l'|x>n investigalon Mr-. .as f • uli' 1 that the i>u}>po»eil tiger vaa i':o talliy oat a.s'.oop in tac Sim. She v.as angry with I, or daughter. "(Io i.p-tairs at onoo. Maty. and a-U (I'll to fcrgivo ion lor tfll'iig stor'i>-. she ;.-ll:!iVllu!od. .M-.rv d. par tod, but in a few moment? rot u rnod. "Well," r.skod hor mother. " u'd yon n>k (.oil to forg've your" "Ye*, mother," wa* tlio repl.Yj * ! aiiu lln said. It's ( u te all r-ght, Mi» Juno-;: 1 ii. .'i 'Tv made tlie same mistake myself. "