MY VIEWS OF LOVE.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 6, Issue 282, 8 June 1917, Page 2 (Supplement)

MY VIEWS OF LOVE.

BY SIS HOPKINS, THE CINEMA FAVOURITE.

My m» says there a'n't no sech thing as Love, but I know different. Ma's advico is usually good, but most mas is married, so thet makes 'em prejoodiced on this Love subject. And Love! Love, Love, Love—it jest makes my hed gidsdy to think of it. It mokes me want to rite poettry, and goodness knows I've scanadlised the neighbours enuf by bocomming one of them actress wimmen without riting poettry. Pa says, "Poets is either wimmen or men who ort to know better."

But, girls, I want you to fele what a wunderful thing Love is. It moovs mountanes makes the world go round, lazy men hold their jobs and stingy men buy ice-creme sodies. Can you beat it? Love is sumth'ng thet makes you fergct all your cares and worries and even makes some folks ferget there maned. It makes you lose yur appettitte and do absent-minded things and then kick beeus the coffee is salty. Pa says. " Ix>ve is a stick of dynamite wrapped in a celluloid '?olkr." Love is not to be tr'feled with or squandered. Becus he tels you he loves you don't start asking him his favvorite brekfast foods nto away. Many a horse has jumped the traces bociis he felt the whip befor the bridle was on. Then I hev another word of advice, girls. Don't indooce him to be too extravagant —until you are shure you got him. When ho shows all tho simp-toms of foolishness, when you know Love has got him, then make him go the Limni't. He don't know no better then and yon newer can tel but what he mite get the babbit.

Ennyhow, he won't recover rite away, and if you act quick. l»efor he does remember having heard the word "obey,"' you may hev your fingers in a strangle hold on the purse strings. Then you Itceum offishul Banker and you let him be the Bankrupt. As Pa says, "Sum men newer knows thevr own minds befor they are maried and after that they ain't got any." But, girls perhaps I'm making you afrade of Love. You don't want to he afrade cause it's the most wunderfut thing on erth. There ain't no shure way of getting hit by it. It jest oums on you when yon a'n't luk'n and hefor yon know it it's got you like the mcezuls or the mumps or enny of them other descezes. And there ain't u Do?tor kin cure you. Goodness knows you don't want to bo cured. Yon wouldn't care if the darn tlvng killed von. Love is like « roomatizum plaster. It's ezy to get on and feles grate for ,•>, week. Then it's a noosanco and you're in a terr'bol p'okol en use it hurts wurse to take it off than to levo it on.

It u when you jzot Low that vmi '■ihow a, siidcn interest in pictures of fat. lito.l lollies waring n. pair of I>ows and arrows nntl litol else. And ovvcry tim.> you luk e.t a mnirfltnz'no cower yon folo pvltv and wnndor how th« dickens tho artist know about voir. When it's all over tho onlv th'ng vou enn think of when you luk at tho litol k'd ; s why don't tliov put sum clothes on tho nnr th'njr and yon want to cot tho artist arrested for eroolty to children. f o'-i 's one of th n roe-ons w'iv J wont into the li'rt'iro-nalaoo l»isino<s. You ort to -f\ nil tlio beootifnl lovo letters T p-or (Vom men t\1»o ar* sin it ton w ; th mo on tlio *orono. Rut. r.-olv. it'< 0001101inp cmbarvsiu. If it wns onv «no n-an to recent it wud K« ?'l rit.\ hut how to nick tlio l"tt T don't ktvw. Pa p/ivs. "TW f "-o'-rv ovmr irHi''i ono you'll take. He'* «'io unfortunate whn'ort to l:o worrv'ng."