A DESPICABLE HOUND.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 6, Issue 276, 18 May 1917, Page 1 (Supplement)

A DESPICABLE HOUND.

(BEING AN AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL FRAGMENT.)

After many years of (comparatively) blameless living, I now stand bnuraeu as one who has attempts dto profit li> stealing ("no less a. word," says Mary, "w ll fit tno case") from our gallant soldiers in the field. 't is a sad story, but nevertheless I feel that T mu:.i tell it to someone, ana you are the handiest for the purpose. Perhaps there may even be some among you who will find it in their hearts to pitv me. On the other hand, of course, thera may not.

It. may lie said to have begun, like so many other sad stories, with my wedding, although, as far as I myself could see, until quite recently married life wj\s a far from unhappy state. Marv ci d the miirstering angel stunt every evening to an appreciative audienoeI ;.m naturally appreciative— and in return I seldom threw anything really heavy at her. Now I am not one of those men who maintain that the sole function of a wifo is to sec?otine buttons on my shirt and darn my half hose. But at the same time I must confers to a preference for fo.ks that are n .t attempt ng to masquerade as cullenders, and when Mary showed a pleasing readiness to darn them 1 d'd not forbid . . that is, ask her to den : st.

Rather I joyed in the possession of so capable a manager of my decrepit footwear department (011 the first floor. Madam : first door on the left and the top right hand drawer). For a long time I joyed exceedingly, but at la.-t thero came the rift in the loot, as the Crown Prince said when on h?s return from Germany he found that one of the spoons he had though silver wr.s really only plate. It was a rainy evening, and so dark withal that I had waded through al-mo-'j every puddle in our suburb on the way home. Mary was not at home, and, divesting myself of my boots, I went upstairs to rid myself also of my sodden sockj. naturally expecting that as usual, I should find plenty of fresh ones m the drawer. The fresh ones were there all right, but not a s-nglc one, let alone 3 pair, could I find that, had not plenty of holev Mary had forgotten them, and foi"otten them apparently for weeks, as I subsequently found out. I pondered the matter; made a search ; and finally n her work-basket I found a pair devoid of vent'lat'on. And it was in the-o that I met her cn her return. \V,i sat and talked, one on e- ch s'de of the fire, like -loan and the Derby, and suddenly she sat up wita a start, fixed her eves on my feet, and demanded : •• What socks are those you are wear-

'"l told her of my search and how T had at la*t found a pair- 1 spoke with •v 'ob in mv voice as 1 mentioned ni\ dearth of really sound . ' Not, of course. I added, that I am complain'nif. , . , n i v No. but j am, she sa d rnl _; •'Ti> think that 1 should knit seAs for soldiers and nave them stolen by m> own husband. It is no horrible. And that is how 1 plundered our noor so'diers and Ixn-amo a soc'al outcast.