UNCONSCIOUS HUMOUR OF THE CHILD.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 6, Issue 270, 27 April 1917, Page 4 (Supplement)

UNCONSCIOUS HUMOUR OF THE CHILD.

THE HII.L HAMtVs DESCRIBED BY A TEACHER IS SCOTLAND.

Children are funniest when they do not trv to l>o funny. They are funniest vtfltm most in earnest over events 111 that wonderful raake-bobove world so peculiarly their own. In town or country it is just the same, only that environment. is an important factor in originating the games and diversfyng thoir pinylul antics. Thore 1.1 in our playground a small shelter shed of corrugatod iron with no architectural adornment, and this drab erection, plain to the verge of ugliness, is transformed many times a day by the wonderful necromantic powers of youthful imagination into a palace for royalty, la Gorman ijjrison, 4 bombproof shelter, or a kennel for sheepdogs.

A BIRD GAME.

\\ ith what whole-hearted enthusiasm and directness do our clever little dramatists enter into the game of tho season, and how ent rely oblivious are they to the evident amusement of the onlookers. Take, for instance, a game very popular in the spring. Half t/10 pupils are by tho powers of enchantment changed into birds —whaups and plovers for preference, whose business it in to make nests in the gravel and depos.t therein the correct clutch of each bird represented. Along comes the other half, who apparently retain their human form, and their duty is to steal tho eggs and carry them off for sale. Just ima<fno tho scene! The birds fly off wildly flapping the'r feather'esti wings, and giving utterance to shrill or raucous cries a thousand tl mes more car-s-plitting and weird than the actual bird-cry of distress, while the I told marauders carry away the plunder. Could tho onlookor restrain his mirth when big Sandy shouts: —" Ye neoda shoo nto frae ma nest. I hinna la'd an egg yet ! Xo soon.'r have you recovered vour gravity when it is upset on Jenny's distressful cry: — "Oh, dinna tak ma eggs. They are dor-kit, and the young yina wull bo oot tho morn."

EACH IN ITS SEASON'

Then tome'i the sheep-dippfng season, when an upturned form in a corner ot the playground does duty for a trough. Iho younger children (I mean ewes and lambs) are driven into sheep pens and separated by dogs which reqiire more directions than real sheep dogs. One by one the sheep are dipped into tho invisible 'heep-dip and scattered abroad to dry. Sometimes the order rings out clear and peremptory — " Dip that v n ower agan. Tt'fc awfu' sair mawkit."

Next, com™ the shooting season, when bonnets and caps, skilfully sent skimming through the air, do duty for tho birds to bo brought down bv sticks and .stones. Anxiety to bring down as many brace as possible lends an unwonted ]<f|i;ancy to t'nc ordinarily slow dialect of the hdl bairns. It is great. Little reek they who watches them at play. So enthralling is the game that they have neither eves nor e-;:s ior amustvl or critical spectators.

And vet our fun-creating. laughter!ov;ng !itt'(< ones, full of unconscious humour, fail d sma.Uy as hunior sts wiien they attempt a battle of wits. "Joan! T t>-11 Rah Scott ye were nv. fu lionin.' siy< a would-'".* hiunorf ■ ;> g.rl companion whom l:e vi,,licl to

1 hat a' r'< lit." remarks Je m. < iiiii|''a. entlv :<n opt'ng the fa e value of ihe implied tribute to her charm o . "But." went oil Jock, "I telt an awl mI ! e for vou're no'. A n:o wi' a u udden Ing Ins a bonifier iPvrv nor von."

11l school i, !■; jus- the same. O - ' • day the pupils were asked t.i make up

! a humorous short story as a variation, in thc.r composition lesson. This announcement was hailed with joyful acclamation. Busily they set to work, but airs! It was a most wonderful study in facial expression to see how painful earnestness superseded the smiles, and how it was followed in turn I by pathos and tragic despair. One lit- ! tie broke down altogether, and wailed out —• "1 eanna' write ocht funny. I never seen onything funny in ma Me, for I was ayo a guid lass." The results of this exercise were most | disappointing. Somo of the older pupils dished up very ane'ent chestnuts under very transparent disguises. Even the best were not good. They a'l lacked spontaneity and seemed forced and unnatural. Here is a sample:— " Once a man started to save money. Ho wouldon t t.%ke any breakfast nor dinner, and just a wee wee drop tea, and ho never buyed sweeties, nor toys, nor Sunday boots, nor any ri'on things. He got no new clothes, and in two weeks he had a terrible lot of money But the joke was he died before hj could count it all. And he never knew how rich he was. And his little boys and girls spen# it all the first time they wen's to the town.'' Contrast tU's lalwured effort to promoto mirth with the quaint and humorous originality of ideas running through the following extracts from essays written f.n all seriousness:—

THE GIRLS' VIEW.

" Boy 3 are always wild, and I never saw a" tamo one. They like to make girls cry, and then they laugh. But sometimes they take care of us and take our part, but you cm never depend on them. Girls are always good-looking, and some aro even beautiful, but you never saw a beautiful boy. Girls are so useful. They work hard and learn such a lot. They have to sew, and mend, and milk, and bake, and clean tho house. Boys can only kii.t, and they couid not have done that much if tho tetielier had nit |learri?d! them. They think they are clever for they can always hit the mark when they throw stones."

"Girls aro quiet, gentle, and good, and they aro of great use in the world. Thero would be no use for houses if there were no girls and mothers to clean them. Boys aro very rough, but they prido theirselves on that, and call tt manly. They aro immense sulky if they don't get all their own way. They think they are headier than us girls, but if you look"at our classes you will always find tho girls at the top."

AND THE BOYS'

So much for tha g'rls' (ideas about boys 1 Now wo will see what the boys have to say about girls. Boys are very nice, but girls are not. We do not like girls, but we cannot do without them. If a man had no wife lie would never get a decent bite of meat, for he would to ready .t himself, and it would bum when he wis out look? ng tho hill. And if he stayed at homo to keep it from burning, the sheep might fall into the drains and du>."

' I like to be a boy. Bcj.s arc manly and big, and don't need to wash dishes. They cut sticks, saw logs, and look the vermin snares, and food the phesants. Boys don't tell tales on one another like girls. You neper find boys condesending to play g rla' games, but girls aro awful pleased to get playing with us. Girls li.nve no sense of honour. If boys quarrel as they must do sometimes, a big fight «ids ft; but if girls quarrel, they sneak into corners, :ind «iys things about one another till you're fair ack hearing them." "Girls get off far too easy. Thoy are said to bo not so 6trong as us, so why do they try to dominear ovor us? When we iiit them, what a rigmarol they carry home. You dun't know your own wee bit crack when t is told to our father. If you just giro them a wee skite, it near kills them. Bo\9 car. climb trees, throw stones, fish, go out in the ran, and play battles, but we do not let the girls do things, for it would not bo modest."

The* above extracts illustrate the smiplo directness of the average ch Id. Thero is no beating about the bush with children. Tney go straight to the point, and say exactly what they mean, and when wo occasionally come across an embryonic diplomatist who can successfully veil his true thoughts and obscuro his intent'ons, w© feol sorry for him, because childhood's simple joys seem lost to him for ever.

SOME ANECDOTES.

Tho following anecdotes, so quaintly humorous, may serve to show how practical tho young children are who cannot yes wield tho pen. I was talking about flowers ono day, and I finished up by saying. '"So, you sr-e, tho flowers just go to sleep rn winter. They will waken up in the spring, and you shall see them blooming again."

But Mary, a little mite of five, spoka up in most convincing tones: —

"'Oh, no! Them that we pu'ed are deeded, and they'll never live again." " Please, can Mary and John get out a wee while to play?" asked Margaret, in most coasj ng tones. "Why do you ask for them?" " 'Cause I would get, too," came the naivo reply. "What are you crying for?" asked I ono day of a little sobbing girl.

" 'Cause Johnny says I'm no' bonny athoot ma teeth," was tho hysterical reply.

"Never n»nd." said I, consolingly; "your teeth will soon come again.'' "But, but," she sobbed, "it is the noo ho disna like me."

Tho les.°on had Ween on " Eyes and No Eyes," and at its conclusion tho little ones wore sent out to play, on the condition that while outsde they would us? their eyes and be able to enumerate twenty objects they had seen. Soon trey came in, bursting with importance, and a long list of observations tremliling en their tongues. Tho sky, the trees, the road, the house, etc.. were tno most popular: but Bobby, douce, so!>er, and scrimp , n his vocabulary, answered :—" 1 seen nineteen trees and yin man!"

Woe Andrew, jiu»t newly come to school, was asked what birds he knew, and mad" answer:—"A grouse, a puddork. and bunibee."

On my objecting to the puddock and :j buinbee, ho made answer:—

"A puddrx-k is a bird for-it hope, md a bunibei can lice, and a grouse has feathers."

Such games, essays, and original answers here enumerated speak for themselves. They do not belong to gentle ;<sv.l-*»yed boys and girls who iiavo lost the r puciois hirthr'ght. I hey could only bo conceived by romping. niv-fixed. laughter-loving children who still fie! tho fascination of the (Joldeti Age nad hope that its joys may prove perennial. —Margaret.