"HEIGHTON'S OWN."

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 6, Issue 243, 19 January 1917, Page 1 (Supplement)

"HEIGHTON'S OWN."

TIT-BITS FROM A CAPITAL BOOK

Mr. Justice Darling could never resist the temptation to joke in court. AVhen a junior ho was once engaged in a case at Sessions, which lasted long after the court usually closed for the day. At length the chairman blandly said,." Do you notice the hands of the clock, Mr. Darling?" Mr. Darling, who was addressing the jury, replied, "They seem to me, sir, to be in their normal position at this time of day."

On one occasion Lord Coleridge was addressing a large audience of 'Varsity lireoi at Oxford, when he used the phrase, " We must remember not merely the beauty of the individual colleges, but tho beauty of Oxford as a whole. And what a whole it is!" "Hear, hear!" yelled the 'Varsity men. "Yes, what a hole!" they groaned. "What a beastly hole!" Then it dawned upon I.ord Coleridge that this was a thing hj? would rather have expressed otherwise.

The acoustic properties of the new 0!d Bailey are by no means as perfect, as they might he, and there \s a decided echo of the walls. Some time ago Judge Rentoul sentenced a prisoner to six months' hard labour, and directly he had pronounced sentence "six months' hard labour" was echoed i'roni the back of the court. The prisoner was so taken with surprise that, tinning to a warder by his side, lie inquired, anxiously, Do these 'ere sentences run concurrently?"

Sir Samuel Evans lias several good stories to tell relating to his profession. One concerns a man who stole a pair of trousers, and is decidedly naive. The man received a favourable verdict, but when the case was over he showed no signs of leaving the court. At last his lawyer asked him why lie didn't go. The innocent (?) man whispered in reply, "The fact is, sir, I did not like to move until the witnesses had left the court. You see, I've got on tlvj trousers what I stole."

A good story of Sir Edward Carson's trenchant wit is afforded by one of his earlier cases, in which he was opposed by .an elderly, prosy, long-winded lawyer in an assault case. The elderly iawycr, in his concluding address, spoke for six hours, an interminable, foggy, stupid speech. Then his opponent rose. He* sniil'ed slightly, looked at the judge tuid jury, and said, "Your Honour, 1 will follow the example of iny learned friend who has just concluded, and submit the case without argument. '

At Brooks's they tell the story of how Mr. Plowden was once discussing •beverages with a fellow member. "Have vou ever tried gin and ginger-beer J . asked tire other. -No," replied Mr. Plowden. "but I've tried a .of. of fellows who have."

A famous example of Lord Bowen s wit w.iri the remark lie addressed to a barrister who was arguing a had point in th-e Court of Appeal on the pi'ound of an "equity" in the case. ' «'hen I hear of an 'equity' in a <a . so this," Bowen said, with gravity, "I am reminded of a blind man—in a dark room - looking for a b.ack hat—which isn't there."