AFTER-THE-WAR MARRIAGES.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 229, 24 November 1916, Page 5 (Supplement)

AFTER-THE-WAR MARRIAGES.

A CHANGE OF ATTITUDE. By HILDA M. LOVE Who predicts that after the war girls will no longer stipulate for conventional standards of comfort before embarking 011 marriage. Love and marriage are still the most 1 easurcd dream of the business girl. She does not picture herself in tlie iiuure as_ ttio moving spirit of some -'"eat btiriihss house, swaying its fortunes and its employees; but she does picture herself as the head of some small home, swaying the heart of one man within it.

She has never swerved in her loyalty to the oldest and sweetest dream in the world, but. like most other tilings, toe war has altered the set-tin * ot tins dream 111 one far-reaching r£ spect she. now thinks more of the riches of a mans' heart and less of tho riches of his pocket. Before the autumn of 1014 circumstances had led business girls—and who ot our generation isn't a business girl nowadays?—to expect their lovers to provide for them as comfortable a home as the one from which they protake them. It was, although we did not always realise it, a most unfair demand to make of men at the beginning of their careers. But we were too comfortable <0 make sacrifices, so wo coolly hesitated before relinquishing our positions and marrying h'- man who could not give us the variety and comfort to which Ave had been accustomed. Rather than brave the economies and the anticipated monotony of married life on a small salary we preferred to let the marriage age steadily rise thirty, so long as we obtained all those little veneers that stood to us for comfort and happiness. Meantime, the most precious years of life slipped tirrnv while waiting for the showy house, the maid, the imitation Jacobean furniture and the appearances on which .ve placed such value.

Even while we pitied, we envied the courage of those girls who mado he great adventure without these accessories.

But the great majority of us had reached the point at which we wan'U ed to start where our parents left off. We dreaded that people might say, " She's not doing very- Well for herself," if we started in a humble way; and, to be honest, we had no desire to curtail the outings, tho clothes and the liberty we enjoyed. The men themselves could not always see why we stipulated for certain conventional standards before we married, but they agreed to these standards of ours because they could see that we should not be happy withoutthem.

But when the war, with its tremendous upheaval, came into our lives 't dislodged these beliefs wth a crash. Th> marriage accessories on which we had laid such stress and placed such value suddenly appeared to us very pitiful and contemptible when balanced against great issues; we already regretted wasted years. From this new knowledge of ours the war bride was evolved. All the veneers for which she had formerly striven were now worthless in her sight—she was prepared to use ber youth, her energy, her strength, her brains, to make her new home a thing of beauty and comfort 011 an income that she would formerly have thought impossible. The fear of war had taken all fear of married monotony from he", the care of her household held unanticipated interests, economy became a duty, not a bore; she realised her national importance as tho wife of a fighting man and as a future mother. She was no longer a woman shirking tho responsibilities of marriage on a small income, but a woman willing to do her part, thankful for the love in her life, perpared to suffer if necessary. That is the attitude of the war wives, and that is the attitude that wit! bo evinced by the after-the-war wives. The men we love have been out to face death and danger for us; and they in their war atmospheres, and we in our offices, shops, factories and homes have come to the Same conclusion—that love is the greatest thing in life, and that obstacles .we raised to its fulfilment in other days were not- worthy of it or of us.

When the men come home grant it may be soon! —they will find the girl they left behind deeper an i stronger in her affection, with greater courage in liar heart, and with determination in her mind to marry her man in.the of youth and to plan and work through the lean years with him, instead of waiting until his finestami most virile years have been speao in smoothing the path before she has the courage to step by his side. The striving for veneer has vanished our hearts are now dictating to us as well as our heads. HILDA M. LOVE.