COFFEE STALL PHILOSOPHY.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 229, 24 November 1916, Page 8 (Supplement)

COFFEE STALL PHILOSOPHY.

The philosopher was a trifle m%ro! at first ; wc wore clean collars an white wraps, and he is suspicious < anything approaching to "class"; J obstinately cut huge jam 9indwich< into squares and triangles with Euclii can exactness, and his silence .was d tearing. But presently he smiled; tl ice was broken; libations were poun steaming hot from an overgrown ke tie with a fat, comfortable spout; tl cake, was cut, a penny a slice and ve filling. By way of a lead, I asked he ever had any lady customers. , " W r omen ?" he said. " I don't wai 'om. They ain't never satisfied. Th< never knows what they wants, they've got eike they wants brecd-an butter; give 'em thn.t, and they rawther "ev cike. You never ino' how to tike 'em." lie turned his ba and clattered the cups and saucers "Married," I said softly. "Get along," gently rebuked 1 friend . How" do you know? You not married, and look at the awful 1 you write about women." "Not but what there's exceptions proceeded the man, resuming his t angulations. , "Ah!" we breathed, chewing ste: ilv. *'• Yu.«. Only last night a young li —a real lidy. long gloves and all, li a pickshcr —come up to me and sa 'l'ro missed the last 'bus, and I've j miles to walk and not enough moi for a keb, and I'm hungry; wot woi you rekimrnend?' She put up her \ and smiled, and I stiid very smart, piece of eurrint cike, a jam, and nice lorge cup of coffee, Miss' —wh I cut 'em nico and thin for her. i took just wot I siggested and st< 'ere talking up twenty minutes, left a tanner on the pl"*tc when went, which was real handsome c siderin' p'raps she was hard up." "Ever have any funny customer we inquired, after appreciations. " Yer right there," he respond ■'Funniest thing as ever 1 had hap. was only las' week, when a blofesJ me for a motor 'bus and tried to eh on top. 'Going to Whitechapel ?' arsks. 'No,' I says; 'you'll be a < long time getting to Whitechape you tikes this 'bus!' He went off; five minutes afterwards he comes bi looks at me solemn-like, and si 'Mite, 1 must be bad if I thort you a 'bus, mustn't I!' And off he w again. Some more coffee, gents?" "Thank you, not now," we deci< " Theukyou'—l like folks what s 'thenk-you,' " he remarked. "It gives me the 'ump the way some cl eats and pienks down their cop] wivout a word." "Ah —you get the hump, too, times?" '• 'Orrible, occasional. But it d< do to encourage it; 110 man never to have the 'ump what's got a tai in his pocket. If you looks at 1 tanner -well, trippcnce will get yoi much as you kin eat for supper; Nelsons'll do you, gents, though known a chap eat four, but he heavy-like after; and thrippence same for breakfast, an' sleep out; i anything might happen after hr fast, and anvway you're all gay half a day at least. And then pick to yourself some o' tho pore feller come 'ere night after night for sci or wiv only a penny to spend, and, dering which is best to have — or cold buns; I reckon you won't 1 the 'ump much more on your owi count. Between iriv> and you, I erally gives 'em a swill o' coffee the bun, pore devils. They 'thenkyou' all right. I kin tell It's a toss-up wiv some of 'em wh< they won't go over the bridge. Tl the 'ump. if you like, ain't it. . . 1 good night, gents. 'Ope to see ag'Z."