NEW WORDS THAT WAR BRINGS.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 225, 10 November 1916, Page 2 (Supplement)

NEW WORDS THAT WAR BRINGS.

A great war is always tortile in the new words and phrases which are contemptuously called "slang" until the makers of dictionaries, academic critics and the like are force 1 to admit t.ie.y have come to stay. The South African War, insignificant as it seems in retrospect (writes Mr. E. B. OsWji, in the .Morning Post) added its handful of picturesque words to the Knglish language, which is the most exclusive of jill languages. "Trek," ''commandeor,'' and "slim," are three examples of naturalised war-words which may now Ih? used, even in a literary weekly, without offending the pirrists. It was not so a d»zen year.) as I we!l remember. For in those remote and rather ineredib!e days 1 was semi-officially rebuked for tfvm£; to rail a politician ''slim - ' in a leading article. Lender-writers weiv then expected to keep up the tradition ,f Ciceronian Knglish—their solemn pronouncements had to contain ; t least 25 per cent, of polysyllabic pu'pwords as a sign of good faith. To-dav. as vou may have noticed, they can be glad or snd o" bad or mad in monosyllable*.

SLAVE OF THE BKOOii

SHE HAD "CLEAXIXfi-rp" 0\ THE BKAIX.

She always kept everything perfectly clean, From the cellar dear up to the top tor neatness and order slue surelv wjh keen, And no one could get her to stop. Her husband could never find comfort at home For fear lie would mess up the place. W here his wife with a broom and a duster would roam With a stern sort of look on her face.

She never hud t:n>c to l.v reading a book, She never had time for a call: Instead she was scrubbing sonic corner or nook, Or sweeping the stairs or the hall. She swept all her beauty and glndw.a away, __ She snvpt all the joy out of life, Intil she became rn automaton grey A cleaning-machine— not a wife.

Slie scrubbed all the lore from thu h.'nrt of her spouse, Her children wore playless and glum She had her reward an immaculate house Where nobody ever would come. She swept and sin- dusted and scrubbed like a slave Till she swept herself into the tomb. And the monument now at the head of her grave Is a duster, a brush, and a broom!

FOILED AG AIX. Anything he couid he got free. Siuh an adept at the game was lie that tie would often apply for free samples tro-n twelve different addresses at once under twelve different nnmes and in twelve different handwritings and live on the product for a week. And now his s,-,n was down with a sore throat and the problem was, how to get hir.i well for nothing. For an hour iit hung about outsit? his doctor's house, and then pieunded to be passing accidentally ;i.s the medico came out.

"Halloa, doc!'" he exclaimed, ingenuously, and then rambled into the by-ways of conversation on our great offensive in Franco, also on the unsettled weather. At last Ik reached his point. "By the way, doc," he remarked casually, •'what would you give for a sore throat ':"

The M.l). looked him up and down "Nothing,"' replied x\\i medico at length. " 1 don't want a sore throat.''

SCORED. The proprietor of a printing establishment was in the habit of periodically descending lo the machine-room and indulging in sarcastic comment. One of his xi-its was nearly duo, wlren, unfortunately ,a youth employed upon the machines appeared with a much discoloured cheek-bone, the esiilt of a light the night before. How to disguise the injury puzzled him exceedingly.. for lie knew that, should his employer notice it, his post would bo lost and his character imperilled. Suddenly an idea seized him ; and he daubed the part with printer s ink. Strangely enough, the proprietor (hose that day for his inspection, and Slaving gone through the room commenting on every detail, he suddenly pointed to the damaged youth. "Raise that young man's wages!" he cried. "He is the only peison in the room who looks as if he had been wor\ing!"

THE WOMAN' HE MET. Mr. Binks: "1 met a woman to-dav that I thought a good deal of once." Mrs. Binks: "Oh. you d-d?" 'Yes. I used to do my very hest to please her." " Humph!" V I did everything I could to win her affection." "Mv goodness. "And at last J flatter myself that ! bucceeded." •••\Yha- —" '•She granted all that I asked, and by so doing made me the- happiest man alive." •■Merciful " '•' I asked her to come up to the house with me to-day. but she had some shopping to do. and cannot get here until late." -Mr. Binks, 1 i.m going home to my mother." -She isn't at home, my dear. It was vour mother that I met. She gave me