TIT-BITS.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 225, 10 November 1916, Page 2 (Supplement)

TIT-BITS.

Champagne was first made by monks in the seventeenth eenturv. *** " « It was 300 years ago, in Florence, that the first grand opera was produced. * * • Of the 27,000 soldiers to be release i for the harvest only 225 hav.j been allotted to the county of Surrey. * * * Plans for a Government paper mill under the supervision of tin Finance Minister are being considered .n Japan. * # # Among the prisoners interned at Rnhleben is a giant Boer, who stands 7ft, 4in. high, and was formerly in Kruger's bodyguard. * * * Grasshoppers attain their greatest size in South America, where thev grow to a length of five inches, and their wings spread out ten itches. * * Dr. Thomas I). Love, of Atlanta, U.S.A., declares that he has converted his backyard into a garden which produces enough to feed twelve families. * * Mr. G. Galer, of Loddon, Norfolk, who is a; member of the volunteer corps, claims to be the oldest volunteer in England. He joined the Lcddon volunteers in 15.59. * # * The Bishop of Birmingham, in his August diocesan letter, recommends the mission field to young soldiers who, after the war, may desire to dwell in distant lands. * * * It has been calculated that the whole coal supply of our planet would barely suffice to produce, heat equal to that which the sun dissipates in one-tenth of a second. * * * The test for symmetry is to turn .- man with his face to the wall. His chest should touch it, his nose should be four inches away, his thighs five, and the tips of his tees three. * * * If we wish to play into the hands (f the Germans wc can do nothing better than to give up teaching German in English schools.—Bishop of Birmingham at a school prize-distribution. * * * Recent arrivals at Beme from Berlin state that horseflesh has become quite a luxury there in consequence of thp shortage of ordinary meat. The price of horseflesh has risen to 3s 6d a pound. * * * The war-time petrol restrictions, which came in force last month, have had the effect of resuscitating not only many of the horsed vehicles of the Victorian era, but the old-fashioned family coachman also. * * * That which is popularly known as the "funny bone," just at the point of the ; e!bow, is in reality not bone at all, but a nerve that lies near the surface, and which, on getting a knock or blow, causes the well-known tingling sensation in the arms and fingers * * * The product of the wax-tree of the Ancles cannot be distinguished from beeswax. * * * * Six Indian officers and soldiers hav* now earned the .CV. and twenty-seven have gained the Military Cross. *# ' * Glass as far as research has been able to determine, was in use 2000 years before the birth of Christ, and was not even then in its infancy.

Small birds, large birds—even crows —are being slaughtered in such numl>ers for food in North Germany that they are now "deserting"" to Holland.

In the days when Rowley Hill was Biwiop of tiro Isle of .Man, cue of his clergymen, bearing the name of Tears, came to say adieu to his bishop on getting preferment.

The parson said: "Good-bye, my lord! 1 hope wo may meet '-gain; but if not here .in some better [lace." The Cishop replied: "I fear the latter is unlikely, as there are no Tears in Heaven.*'

"Xo doubt," wittily answered the parson, "you are tight that our ehanc> (.': meetng is small, a< one reads of the plains of Paradise, hut nevei of any Hills there.'"

Grant Alien was sitting one day in the sluule of the Sphinx. Turning for some paint oi detail to his Baedeker Gtrde l'< ok, a sheikh looked at him s.'i-djy. and snook his head. ".Murray good," he said, in a voi'.c o. warning; " Baedeker no good." "Oh." answered the novelist, "why do you object to baedeker?" The sheikh crossed bis fiends and looked down on him with the pitying eyes of Islam. "Baedeker bad book,' he repealed. Murray very, very good. Murray say, 'Give the sheik 1 , half a crown.' Riodoker say, 'Give ihe sheikh a shilling.'

An office ni (barge of ;i company of infantry o:i tin- ranges at . .wish in _; to tiiiiL* tli. l ''rapid tiring," turned to the company and asked 11 anyone nari a watch with a second ban I. There was r.o answer for a low moments, when one of the "last batch" remarked: " Pit a o, sir. I have a secondhand one."

"li's a fine morning, Mike," said the so aire.

"It is a foine morning, your homier, and ladyship. And slnire I had a foim drain'.' last night.'' "What did you dream, Mike!-" inrinired tl o ladv.

" Rh line, I drini't his honner gave in? lil .pound f:f har-y, and your ladyship gave me a p and of tav!'' "Ah," laughingly replied the squire, "but yon know, Mike, dreams go by ' contraries." '■

".Shure, then, your homier can give, me the pound of tay, and her Ladyship can give me the pound of baccy."