"PROVISIONS."

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 223, 3 November 1916, Page 5 (Supplement)

"PROVISIONS."

At a certain seaside resort the skipper of a small sailing boat Nent his man shorn for provisions. In about one hour the mate returned Itcaring in his anus one half-!oaf and a large black bottle. "Ma (03sfioii!.e!" exclaimed th-j hkippcr as he caught sight of him. " What dno ye' want with all that bread 'r' SMARTER THAN A DOCTOR. "Yes," said old Mr. Brown, "the doctors are getting mghty smart nowand things made so that they can see ;>, and thingsmade so that they can see .i, bullet in a man's body; in fact, they can sec clean through you." "Humph!* replied old Mrs. Brown. ''l don't sco anything smart in that. I've l>een married to you thirty yea/s, but I saw through you two weeks after wo were married!" Mr. Brown rubbed his bald head for a nicmcnt, thi'ii thoughtfully resumed rcadng. "HARD-'KARTKD.' Boatswain (to young newly-joined cadet: "Come, my little man, you mustn't cry on board one of His Majesty's ships of war. J)id your mother cry when you left her?" Cadet: "Yes, sir." Boatswain: "Silly old woman! And did your sister cry?" Cadet " Yes. sir.'' Boatswain: "Stupid littll thing. And did your father cry!'"' Cadet: "No, sir." Boatswain: "Jfard-'earted old beg* gar'."

QI'ITK r\ EARNEST. Soon aft< r a certain Judge of the Supremo. Court ot Rhode Wand had beeji appointed, ho went down into one uc the southern counties to sit for a week. He was well satisfied w'th himself. '"Mary," he -.aid to tl7e IrMi waitress at the hotel where Ifo was, "You'vw been in this country how long?" "Two years, but," said she. " J)o you like it? ; "Share. it"s v.ell enough," answere] Mary. "But, Mary." the nidge continued, "you have many privileges in this country which you'd not liave in Ire Land. Now at home you would never he in n room with a Justice of the Supreme Court, and chatting familiarly with him."' "But, share, sir," said Mary, qiutc in earnest, "You'd never he i iud<;e .it home!"' By a coincidence the death of Sir Victor Horsley occurred the day following that of Metchnikoff, whose moment - eu" discovery that t'-e wh te corpuscles had the power to destroy certain dis-ease-producing microbes profoundly influenced the great f-airgeon-neurob-gist's vons on total alistincnee. Experiment, t.i-ie:l out after Motchnikoif's discovery convinced Sir Vict.u that the consumption of alcohol "even :n tiny quantities." lowered the body's resistance to disease. The good phag.)cvte«, whose, duty it is to play the. sentinel and dest-oy noxious bacilli, berime U n.poranly paralysed under tin'niluence of a very small amcunt of a'mhol, and tlrn, in th<> opinion of Sir Victor H.uslev. sufficiently explainej rnuth chronic li health and infection 2