THE SOCIALIST.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 209, 15 September 1916, Page 4 (Supplement)

THE SOCIALIST.

FROM "A GRAND FLEET CHAPLAIN'S NOTE-BOOK. 1 ' ("Westminster Gazette.'') The great wonder was that lie should ever have como into the Navy at aK; but I think that the Prime Cause must have told him that She wouldn't be se/?n walking out with Inn unless 'ie got into uniform; and that he might choose between becoming a Fighting Man and getting another girl. Probably, also, his creed teaching him that the Army consists of a Brutal and Licentious Soldery othcered by Toffs, he d.ec'ded that a man of his democratic principles would have a better time i'j the Navy. Or it may be that with a fine selfsacrifice he had judged it his duty to come and preach the gospel of Syndicalism to an ignorant and deluded class of society; hoping to find in the simpl'. 1 sailors a fruitful field for his lanours. Whatever his motive, Thomas Paine Higginbotham joined us, early in the war, in the capacity of a stoker. His history during the ensuing eighteen months or so is of such interest that i propose to to!! "t now. On the first ocacsion of his entering the stokehold he seized the opportunity of beginning the good work; a grinning crowd of " fellow-toilers," to use his own term, listened with feelings as mixed as his own metaphors while he expiated to them that they had allowed their birthright to be immolated under the mocking heel of gilded tyrants, " Vorr are," he said, "a set of mercenary slaves bending l>eneath the iron wheel of a selfish despotism -" " And if you don't bend to that there iron shovel, my lad," said the Chief Stoker at this pent, "you'll get another one just like this!" Wherat our Socialist rubbed the seat of his trousers with many sore reflections; among which was the astonished consideration that the Chief Stoker, h'mself one ot the horny-handed sons of toil, could be found willing to uphold the despotic system which forced manual labour upon a man well qualfied to be an intellectual guide amongst his fellows. Still, he consoled Himself with the thought that h"s remarks might bear fruit. He allowed th.em to mature for a week before attempting any further sowing of the seed. Thie time ft'*i Chief Stoker was not in the immediate neighbourhood, or, as Thomas Paine Higginbotham expressed it, not a-spyin' and eavesdronpin' in that contemptible manner." He had, therefore, a tree hand, and held torth for a good ten minutes upon the Rights of Man, and the tyrannous habits of the upper classes. When he had thoroughly warmed to his subject he fixed his eye with that magnetic glance that had so often held his audience in the en Sons of Freedom clubroom, fixed it upon another stoker who appeared one of the most interested listeners. "You, my brother," said he, "are toiling and toiling here below, while they gilded popiniays of officers are all wallowing in idleness! 0, my Brother, why do you suffer such things to be? ' I "Was it me you was addressln' if yerself to as your Brother?" asked tin.other stoker.

"It was!" said Higginbothan. "Then take that, you misbegotten son of Han;/' said the other, planting a brawny fist upon the magnetic eye, "and don't ye ever 'nsult me agin by calling me a brother to such a little lop-eared gas-bag as you be! Brother, indeed! I've got three brothers, two 'n the Navy and one in the Army, and any one of them would scorn to soil his luinds by us ; n' you to mop up muck with!" All this time we had been in harbour. When we went to s,ea Higginbotham ■; progress advanced another stage. Hi wasv. ; o!entlj seasick. "Well, supposin' you are: ; "' asked one of his callous messmates; "you're no worse off than the Captain! He g : ts sick every time we puts to sea; yet there he is up on the bridge wastin' good vittles as fast .us he puts 'em down, but stickin' to his job, same as you've,got to!" It was cetrtainly a revelation to hear that one of the Gilded Tyrants should suffer the same discomforts as an ordinary stoker, and from that moment Higgiubotham began to feel more kindly disposed towards the race of Oppressors. But he professed himself too i' l to carry en with his work, and was taken to the Sivk Bay and nursed with as much care and attention as if he had been a Gilded Tyrant h'mself. The Fleet Surgeon addressed him as "Mv boy," and spun him a long yarn about his own sufferings when lie first came to sea. assuring him that he would get over the tendency in time; talking, all the time, as Man to Man. Cheered by this treatment, Higginbotham actually made an effort next day to struggle back to work, althouti he still felt very unwell. He found that there had been some slight def/ect in tha engine room which had given a good deal of trouble; and the grimv man in dirty overalls against whom ho .stumbled cursed him roundly for a clumsy lout, being a little short-tempe.-. cd after having b.een twenty-four consecutive hours at work trying to put things right; this tired, grease-stn'neJ toiler was none other than the Engine*-* Lieutenant-Commander, as Hgginbotham discovered to his further sutpr: i<?. Weeks and months passed. I will no' attempt to follow every separate step of Higginbotham's education, but w'.'l skip till we come to the final stage. Wp thought we were going into action one day. Higgiubotham found himself on? of a thousand men all inspired with precisely the same wish; all liable to the same dangers, nad all working in the r various jobs as laboriously as himself. "And what d'ye think o' Sosherlism now?" asked his friend who had once for a season closed his magnetic optic. Higg : nbotham drew himself up I'ke :i man, and he spat into the open furnace More closing the door. "Soeial'sm," he rieg<**> —— But on second thoughts I will not risk corroding my iridium-pointed nib with what he said about Socialism.