THE BEST BATTLE ANECDOTE.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 207, 8 September 1916, Page 2 (Supplement)

THE BEST BATTLE ANECDOTE.

PICK-A-BACK ON A HUN OFFICER'S FIND.

Our wounded soldiers have iittle to offer to the seeker after tragic gloom or infernal horror. They entered on the present offensive in the spirit of good sportsmen. From their point of view tho Push is a.' 1 Great do," "As good a show as ever I saw," ''Some shindy, 1 can tell you," "Hot stuff,"' °r "A little hit of all-right." Take the case of a second lieutenant in a Yorkshire battalion, who before the war gave his days to office work and lis leisure to outdoor sports and amusements. He landed at Southampton as a stretcher case, by reason of the shrapnel wound in his right thigh. This is how he sees his own particular bit of it:

" It W4is as we climbed out over their parados, making for their second lino, that 1 got my leg punctured. But it d'dn't hurt a bit, and I went right on. Our chaps were in whooping fine form And then, only a few yards farther, came that confounded shrap that messed up my thigh, killed my second sergeant, and wounded two or three others. My platoon sergeant wanted to stay with me, but. of course 1 wouldn't have that. Whnt he real!..' wanted was to get on. 'You get on, an' give "(Mil hell!' I told him; and on he went with the platoon. "I was in a bit of a sma.ll shell hole However, after a bit 1 found I could get along the ground slowly without very much pain, and I wriggled back to tha Boche front lino and crossed it into a shallow sap that had been pretty well pulveri>ed by our heavies. I was resting there when, if you'll believe me, I saw a Boehe officer come climbing cautiously out of a big dug-out we'll put six bombs in. He was a captain Ho had a bomb in one hand .and a rifle and bayonet : n the other: and he was peering first one way and then the other, likes a burglat. 'Oh, von beauty!' J thought. And just then no snuggled down against a gap in their parados (back wall of a trench) near the dug-out and bedded his rifle comfortably for firing at our chaps in his second line. FOUR HUN OFFICERS SNIPED. "You can bet I was glad I had my i" fie and plenty of ammunition, l believe : n the good old service rifle. Never did bother with revolvers and things. So 1 got a beautiful head on this chap, and a second later he was —I wonder where dead Bodies go ! Bit rough on us if—but I expect there's a spee : al compartment down below somewhere for them. Anyhow, ho didn't have any time to think about it.

*'l charged my breech aga'n and no sooner done than my next target hobs up—a lieutenant, f got him while lie was looking at his captain ; T aimed or his shoulder blades, but the old gun kicked head . Seemed 1 nr'gbt as well be in a grouse butt, and nothing less than officers for tagets, nr'nd you. Well, to cut it short, two more lieutenants came up from that same dug-out, making in

all three lieutenants, and one captain, and 1 got 'cm all. "And then a private came up, w.it'i never a weapon of any sort in his hand ::nd the fear of God in his whiteface. 'You're a'Boehe,' I thought, 'probably a batman (servant), but certainly .1 Boche; and you ought to be shot, but you've got nothing in your s : lly hands If was too much like a sitting bird, you know. Couldn't manage it. 'Here!' 1 shouted at him. And do you know, he fell just as if I'd shot him. ''l had to get the Bochc's help, but couldn't think how to tell him in Germa'n what I want.nl. Finally, I made him understand. "Look hero, Boshy," I said. " Ich wille sehen d : eser blooming dug-out. Got that!-' Then I said 'Donnerwetter!' and grinned at lum to show there was no ill-feeling, and lie managed to make conneeton.

''l kept him in front., you may be sure; but if I'd been an old blind keggar he wouldn't have had pluck enough to empty my tin can. That dug-out was a bit knocked about, you know by our six bombs. But right at the back of the lowost corner there was a sharp twist to th.e right and a door with broken glass panels, taken from a farmhouse by the look of it. Through that wo went along a passage, turned to the left, down iour steps, and into a regular bourdoir. Dug-out! vVhy thone weiv a Turkey carpet on the floor and beautiful tapestry curtains to the bunks. Never saw anytlrng like it. " There were three cases of beer; very good stuff too. I had a bottle myself right away. There were about i hundred eggs, two cut hams, pate de foio grass in little jars, sausages, several boxes of cigars, a case of champagne, a gramophone, and lashins of cakes and chocolate. There |vras an electric bell, a small and in one of tiie bunks I found a lot of ribbons and things from padies' dresses and a pair of ladies' gloves. It was a regular show, that place. PICK-A-BACK ON THE HUN "I took a despatch case and all the loose papers on the,tab!,o, and got the batman to help me back again to daylight. There wasn't a living soul to he found in the trench, so 1 got the batman to take me pick-a-back and carry the despatch case while T stuck to my rifle. 'Now then Gustavo Wilhelm Albrecht von Boihe,' I said to him, 'we all ausgang, as schnell as we can, for our own 1 : nes: comproer'

"Ho was a little slow in tlio uptake. :is you nrght say. hut tumbled to it after ;i bit, especially when T donnorwotted him a hit; and, really. ho made quite, a good job of carving; me till wo Kot close to tlie old sap we used to call 'RimmclV because of it's high seont, on our own front. And there he got a chance bullet through his left knea—rather a narrow shave for my own log—and simply crumpl,ed up like paper. He wasn't really meant for Avar, that batman.

''l'd a lot of trouble dragging b : m into our lines, my thigh be : njr rather nasty just then. But I got him into cover at last, though by that time he had another bullet in his shoulder, and was weeping from sheer funk. Then one of our own hearers got us, and F was all light, and so was the batman.'' (Prom the London "Daily Mail")