COUNCIL HUMOURS.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 193, 21 July 1916, Page 2 (Supplement)

COUNCIL HUMOURS.

"SIT DOWN, JOSEPH.'

Tito other tiny it was proposed by "the chairman <rt a district council that a certain official sboukl he given an honorarium Jar wim extra work he .had dne. « Up jumped the usual object or, who i&sww seem" to absent himself ironi these gatherings, und said : " Mr Chairman, I cannot help thinkin' that- if our gool friend is as industrious as oui vicar makes him oot to bo, he'll ha' no time to play 110 honorarium. It'll be wasted on hUn, that's sure." And he wondered at the roar oi laughter which shook the beams. Another parish ciumeillor got badly mixed in his attempts at classical quotations and references. On one occasion ho refused to accept a statement on the mere " liipset dixter,"and was •constantly saying that a tiling was not "pro bono publican." But he reached hU climax when he .reproached the chairman fur leaning too much to the opposite party to the one to winch lie himself belonged. He declared that a chairman ought to be above suspicion "like Potiphar s wife/' Then somebody made the "house' shriek with laughter by shouting "Sit •down, Joseph!'' winch, eddly enough, was the grumbler's correct name. An illiterate but worthy man was .a member of a certain counc'l. He was very proud of being a eelf-made man. Another thing about him has that he was by no means a beauty. "'l'm a self-made man," lie would often declare in public speech. "Weil," came the swift reply from the stranger.-' gallery on one occasion, "if tba' gets ainther chance o' makin' tlioeel,' spend more t:me on thi face!" It was the same man who told the village Sunday school during his improving address that once he "lived in an 'ut, then he lived in an 'ou.se, and now he lives ill ;in 'all." There wa- some discussion in a certain council on the propriety of providing. the chairman with a robe of office, in order to give dignity to his petition .ae a tort of minor mayor.

Up jumped a patriotic blacksmith, who wa- hotly in favour of this innovation.

"I more." he saUl, that we get our chairman not only ;t 'andsome robe, but t'i:it we have it trimmed wi' vermin."