VANQUISHED RIVAL

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 185, 23 June 1916, Page 3 (Supplement)

VANQUISHED RIVAL

"Oli, halloa, old chap, .lust the man I'm looking; for. Come and have dinner with me, bubbled Doglett Loose. ''Huh! What's the occasion—why the joy !-" doubtfully asked Cozie Nooks. Good reason he had, too, for it was known all over the town of Chizzlewutt that Doglett Loos.o was a mean man. Why, he was so mean that he'd drop a coin in a blind mans' cup with a string tied to it, so that after he re-, coved a blessing he could jerk it back again. So, of course. C'ozi.e Nocks knew that something wonderful had occurred for Doglett to treat him to a dinner. ••Occasion:-" asked Doglett. -Why, the greatest in the world! My rival is dead'" and ho laughed demoniacally. "Rival!- Whv vou're married!" shouted Cozie Nooks. " Certainly I am. But I had a rival until to-day. HcV dead now. Died! Now you comprehend my joyful demeanour." "Good heavens! And you stood for that- What a simpleton you arc!" "Wei! she hived him before we were married, and she brought him to live with us. Of cour-f, I objected, but all to no avail. Alter that he and 1 became the best of friends. And he died this morning!" -For the love of Pete! WclL you w"ie a fool! What was his name'-" " Kido." And the two friends skipped oil, ■snickering.

I'KARED COMPARISON". Will, ;i smile on his rubicund features, the restaurant manager was p-ac.-fulh enjoying forty winks. Ilusino-s'was booming: the piace was full. Good! Knocks on the door of his sanctum, however, brought him hack to earth. In staggered a perspiring waiter. •• p.p-n-loasr. sir,'' he stammered, '•l'm in "a terrible fix. A gent has just ordered roast mutton." "We'l, what of it?" came the exasperated answer. ''There's pi mty of it, isn't there!-" ''Yes, sir," breathed the distracted knt'szht'of the napkin. "Rut he's already had on.o portion of veal."