CHIEF PURPOSE OF BABIES.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 179, 2 June 1916, Page 3 (Supplement)

CHIEF PURPOSE OF BABIES.

USEFUL KOR INCREASING THE POPULATION'.

NO LETTER WAY

The chief puiposc of babies is to increase the population, and they have been found very effective for this. A baby will increase the population ,'.t least one, and, later in life, possibly more. Frequently babies merease the population two right off the bat. When babies increase the population two they r-omo as twins, and are dressed alike the rest of their lives, so that when you see one, it might as well be the other. In this way twins duplicate themselves to a.degree, and there is a certain waste about twins, so that they do not really increase the population two, but about one and three-fifths. However, one and three-fifths babies at one time is a pretty goo.l jump m the population, and ail parents of twins ought to lie able to look the census taker in the face without any apology. Most people have one baby at a time. One is the rule, and any above it is exceptional. It is pleasant that the population may be inci eased by babies. Everybody babies, and since the population is more or less of an obligation, It is highly satisfactory that in time, babies develop into population. There isn't any better way, and this method always keeps babies in the neighbourhood. Somebody within the block is keeping n baby, and go-carts roll on forever. TWENTY-ONE YEARS. It is a fine thing that go-carts roll on. They arc better than a circus parade, because a riivus parade keeps its cages closed, while anybody may look into a go-cart and perhaps take a little poke with his forefinger and say " Onoooochykoo." Then ma\be the mother pulb the lid clear hack off the cage, and a pink smile and a gurgle emerge. Or, just as well pet linns, it is a huge, healthy, lusty squall, full of prlfonality and full of assurance that that young person will live to be a gruidfather himself and jiggle further population on his knee. Or maybe all is quiet. At any rate, go-carts are a good influence, and do much to tr-nio grown-up's. After a man has said "Oooooochy-koo" into a go-enrt he is different for four hours.

It takes twenty-one years +o develop n baby into a citizen, but the cheerful side of this is that a baby is just as important as a citizen, and most people realise this in spit" of the feet that they keep urging a baby to eat and become a citizen. A citizen stays away from home a good deal, but babies stay in close, and are always around whore you can enjoy them. Citizens run away on freighttrains and stay out late at n-ght, and have to work in stores, but a baby sticks pretty to home. Oil, sometimes, when they get four or five years old, theywander off a little piece, but they are always easily found in a near-by gutter or some place close by.